


Fen'Harel Ver Ma - Dread Wolf Take You

by Mushbear23



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, I am slow with updates, MGiT, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, a little bit of smut :p, this is slowly coming along
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2020-08-11 19:50:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20159137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mushbear23/pseuds/Mushbear23
Summary: She didn't know how she arrived into the world of Thedas. She just knew that she had to save the world from Corypheus... and Fen'Harel. What she didn't know was how to make Solas see that there could be another way. Or that they could figure it out... together.Everything Dragon Age related is from the game, and anything else I come up with is mine. Please try not to steal :) Thanks!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have decided that instead of putting the translations within the notes I would put them in the story while reading through parentheses. I hope that is okay with everyone. Sometimes I get frustrated when I have no idea what's being said lol.
> 
> I hope to also get some decent feedback on my writing.
> 
> Thanks! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading the boring beginning! :D
> 
> For the help with the Russian translation, I would like to give a shout out to Netorina! Thank you for all your help and patience!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited: to add that I accidentally used da'len instead of da'lan.

It was dark when I awoke. Pain lanced up my arm and down my right side. _What in the-_ My hand. It sparkled and crackled with a sort of green energy. _What is this? What in the hell is going on?_ I looked around the dark space and noticed the walls. Stone. Smells of damp, decay, and waste assailed my nose. _Where am I?_

Time went by slowly as my panic started to grow. The last thing I remembered was going over to Tommy’s house… and then-

With a burst of noise, a door slammed open in front of me. Not only was I startled to see two figures darkened by the light behind them, it was a new experience for me to squeak. Not since I’d been 10 had I been able to say anything after the accident. I was mute. Wasn’t I?

“Назови мне хоть одну причину не убивать тебя прямо сейчас. Конклав уничтожен. Все, кто там был, погибли.” (Tell me why we shouldn't kill you now. The conclave is destroyed. Everyone who attended is dead.)

Still stunned by being able to talk again, it took me a moment to realize that a woman was talking to me. Focusing on the woman in front of me for the first time, I startled. I knew that face. But from where?

The woman, seeming to take my silence as threatening continued by seizing my arm with the green energy and hissed, “Объясни это!” (Explain this!)

I was stunned. From a game! How the hell did I get here? This was supposed to be fiction! I knew what was expected of me, but I didn’t know if I could talk properly. The fact that they were speaking in a completely different language was just another problem on the many I knew I would face.

It had been so long that I was silent; that my world was silent, “I-….I….c-ca-can’t.” The words were slurred. Even **I** could barely make them out. But I said them. Man, I was rusty.

The woman looked at me for a beat, hard and confused pain lingering in her gaze, when the other woman behind her, Leliana I presumed, spoke quietly, “Не думаю, что она понимает, Кассандра.” (I don’t think she understands Cassandra)

Cassandra looked at me for a moment longer before tsking in disgust and dropping me back on the hard ground, “Тогда мы должны показать ей. Иди в головной лагерь, Лелиана. Мы встретимся там.” (We'll have to show her then. To the forward camp Leliana. We'll meet you there.)

I was pulled up by Cassandra, and I knew from the game that I was on my way to see the Breach.

It was one thing to see something so horrific in a game, it was another entirely to see it in person. The breach was abhorrent. It was awe inspiring even in its dread. The veil was seeping into my very pores and reining terror on my thoughts. I knew I had to close this. But seeing this, in all it’s terrifying glory, made me want to run and never look back. How was I supposed to fight _that_?

Cassandra stops then, looking back at me, “Мы назвали это Брешью. Это огромный прорыв в мир демонов, который с каждым часом становится всё больше. И это не единственный прорыв. Всего лишь самый большой. И все они появились после взрыва на Конклаве.” (We call it the Breach. It’s a massive rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour. It’s not the only such rift, just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the conclave.)

I imagine that Cassandra is telling me about the Breach. I just look at her and point at the Breach with horror in my eyes. Cassandra seems deep in thought. Probably wondering if she should trust her prisoner.

The Breach suddenly lets out a low rumble, almost like heavy thunder and there are bursts of green coming from it. My hand, in response, flares and I am suddenly fallen over in the deepest pain I could imagine. It was like my arm was being flayed and then sunk in acid. Gods this hurt.

When the worst is over, breathing heavily, I look up at Cassandra; my tears held back. I will not cry.

With pity, Cassandra says softly, “Каждый раз, когда брешь растёт, твоя метка тоже увеличивается... и медленно убивает тебя. Возможно, она же может и остановить процесс, но времени мало.” (Each time the Breach expands, your mark spreads… and it is killing you. It may be the key to stopping this but there isn’t much time.)

I know the Breach is killing me. I look back up at the Breach, then back over at Cassandra, and nod. I will fight. I’ll probably die trying, I was no fighter, but I would do all I could.

My determined face must have appeased Cassandra. She gave me a small smile then pulls me back up through the town. Haven. Everyone was yelling at me. So many angry faces.

"Они считают тебя виноватым. Им это нужно. Жители Убежища скорбят по её святейшеству Верховной жрице Джустинии, главе Церкви. Конклав собрала она. Это был зыбкий шанс договориться о мире между магами и храмовниками. Она свела лицом в лицу их лидеров. Но теперь все погибли. В нас внутри всё бурлит, как и в небе. Но мы должны следовать примеру Верховной жрицы и думать не только о себе. Пока брешь не будет закрыта.” (They have decided your guilt. They need it. The people of Haven mourn our Most Holy, Divine Justinia, head of the Chantry. The Conclave was hers. It was a chance for peace between mages and templars. She brought their leaders together. Now, they are dead. We lash out, like the sky. But we must think beyond ourselves, as she did. Until the breach is sealed).

She must be describing the town now. Maybe telling me how they lash out in fear. It was hard to remember when so much was happening. As we get closer to the gate, I get more anxious. I knew that there would be demons soon. _How am I supposed to fight_? Cassandra yells for the gate to open, and she turns toward me. Her rigid stare is hard to ignore when she whips out her knife. For a minute the fear that she’s going to kill me is overwhelming, but she just cuts my bonds. She then motions for me to follow her.

We make our way up toward the forward camp. Another rumble in the sky is the only warning that pain will be coming before I’m sucked into it, almost hurling from the agony. Cassandra urges me to hurry. I know what she means, and I try and pick up my pace. I almost freeze when I see the bridge. Almost. Instead I stumbled. I knew this was where the demons would be.

It matters not that I am afraid, we still get pummeled by one of the Breach’s hits. As we tumble down through rock and rubble, I see that demons are forming ahead of us. Cassandra yells for me to stay behind her but already I see the shimmer of green where a new demon is forming in front of me. In the game there was supposed to be something I could use to fight.

In my panic, I scan the area haphazardly and notice… a staff. No… no! I was not a mage! How the hell was I supposed to use this thing! I pick it up anyway and before I can think up a way to use it the demon is upon me.

It was grotesque, with black ichor oozing from every orifice, hissing. Just as the demon was getting ready to strike, I pull up my staff to block. There was a flash of golden light and the demon howled in pain and disintegrated. _What. The. Fuck._ How did I do that? This was not in the game...

Noticing Cassandra heading towards me with a scowl, I immediately start to put down my staff.

“Подожди.” (Wait) She puts her sword away and picks the staff back up and hands it back to me. "Я не смогу тебя защитить, но и без защиты тебя нельзя оставлять. Я должна помнить, что ты пошла добровольно.” (I cannot protect you, and I cannot expect you to be defenseless. I should remember that you agreed to come willingly.)

It was a good thing that I had played before. Cassandra was not a person who you wanted as an enemy. Cassandra then pulls out five small vials filled with something red. These must be health potions. I gladly took them, nodding my head in thanks. We then turned and headed out again.

My head was reeling_. What was next? One more fight and then we meet Varric and Solas right?_ Oh God. How was I going to endure all this? I needed to be able to talk to Solas. He could help me. I was sure of it. I didn’t even care at this point that all this was his fault.

As it was, there were no more demons but as we rounded a snowy hill, I could see in the distance a group of people fighting around a green ball of energy. A rift. Her first. Cassandra speeds up and I follow suit.

As she barrels into the fray I stagger behind, looking for Solas. He was there, along the left side of the rift. I make my way over toward him, trying to stay out of the way. Right as I was about to reach him, I noticed that a demon was coming up behind him. With no way to help him I shove him out of the way and feel a deep pain in my side. _Shit_. I turn in enough time to see it attacking again and block it again with my staff; that strange golden light shining bright and the demon, again, disintegrates. 

Head reeling from the pain again, I look over to where I shoved Solas and he looks astounded; with a touch of inquisitiveness there too. I point to the rift, and he seems to jump to action, pulling on my wrist and shoving it toward the rift. Closing the rift, I felt something stirring in my soul. It was like I could feel everything and nothing at once. There was a tug, and a slight pull, like something was trying to pull me toward something. I almost wished I could explore. The sensations were amazing. But I gritted my teeth. I couldn’t. There was no time. I couldn’t die here. I pulled back, and all at once the rift closed with a pop.

Staggering back after the tug-of-war I had going on with the rift, I sagged heavily into the mage. I was now noticing that I was bleeding. And it was not a slight cut either. Heavy gashes tore my side and I groaned in pain. 

“Успокойся, da’lan, я исцелю тебя.” (be calm, da’lan, I will heal you.) Solas spoke quietly as we sat on the ground. I knew da’lan, but the rest was lost. I just looked away and sighed again. I hope that was him saying that he could heal me.

“Я не думаю, что она понимает нас, Солас. Она не произнесла ни слова с тех пор, как проснулась, а та единственная попытка звучала... ломано.” (I do not think she understands us Solas. She has not spoken but once since she has woken, and that was... broken.)

I looked back over toward Cassandra, and then right as I was about to look back at Solas I felt it. I gasped, then sighed in pleasure. It was like a balm on my soul. It was cool and earthy and wonderful. I could be in this feeling forever. Once it was done, I sat up and looked at my side. Blood and ichor were still on my person, but there were no longer gashes up my sides. 

I then exhaled and finally looked at Solas. His gaze was bold. Curiosity and guilt stirred within his grey depths. I knew of his guilt. The poor man. I slowly reached up with my hand and laid it gently across his cheek, giving him my thanks with a small smile. His look of shock was priceless. He was like a statue.

“Так, Смеюн, ты заводишь новых друзей, как я погляжу.” (So, Chuckles, making friends everywhere I see.)

Keeping my eyes on Solas a moment longer, I lowered my hand and looked over at Varric. He was just like he was in the game, except better. This was real. His smile was just as crooked, his nose just as broken, and his golden-red chest hair out for all to see. As he ambled over, I could see clearly how he favored Bianca. For a moment I wished I could tell him that it was okay to love someone un-attainable. It was okay to pine. It was natural to want. To love; and there should be no shame in it. But instead I slowly stood up, feeling Solas help me with his hand on my elbow.

Varric smiled at me and said, “Варрик Тетрас: плут, рассказчик и банный лист на заднице.” (Varric Tethras: rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tagalong)

I smiled in greeting and then looked over at Cassandra. She was silent, but I could tell her patience was coming to an end. I pointed to the Breach, and she nodded in approval, “Сейчас мы должны идти к Лелиане." (Now we go to meet Leliana.)

“Какая прекрасная идея!” Varric says in good humor. (What a great idea!)

Cassandra tsks in disapproval, “Ни за что. Ты помог, Варрик, но...” (Absolutely not. Your help is appreciated, Varric, but…)

I turned from their argument, knowing that Varric would win, and noticed that Solas still had his hand on my elbow. I looked up at him, gods he was tall, and smelled faintly of mint and something outdoor. It was wonderful. I also noticed that he was focused on me. His gaze was littered with expressions: wonder, curiosity, guilt, and something else I couldn’t name. I looked back down at my elbow, then at him, and he immediately released me. His face gave nothing away, but his ears were tinged pink at the tips.

I just smiled and patted his arm, all motherly. I then pointed to the breach and made a motion to start heading forward.

He looked at me curiously and then said, “_Dirthas_?” (Do you speak?)

I knew he was speaking elven, but I did not know what he said. I pointed toward his mouth, then shook my head. Then pointed to where Cassandra and Varric were now watching and shook my head again. I think he understood because it was like a light shown in his eyes in sudden understanding.

He turned to Varric and Cassandra and spoke, “Думаю, я могу использовать заклинание, чтобы помочь ей понять нас. Ты позволишь мне это?” (I think I can use a spell to help her understand us. Would you permit me to do so?)

Curious though I was, I had no idea what was happening. Although Cassandra gave a nod of affirmation, it made me a bit nervous. Solas then turned back to me and made a motion to get closer. Hesitantly, I stepped closer. He pointed to his mouth, then to me. I shook my head in confusion.

“Я знаю, ты не можешь понять. Но я собираюсь помочь тебе.” (I know you cannot understand. But I am going to help you.) He took my hands carefully, looked me in the eyes, then whispered something under his breath.

It was the cool feeling of his magic, then a blinding headache. I closed my eyes in agony. Gods it was awful. It made me nauseous and I fell forward into his chest. It slowly started to dissipate and with that came a soft voice I could understand, “Can you understand now da’lan?”

I slowly opened my eyes and stared into his own. I gave him a small smile and nodded. Relief that I wouldn’t have to learn their common tongue.

He nodded his head and asked, “Can you speak?”

I shrugged my shoulders innocently, gave him a smirk, then moved out of his arms. Noting his surprise, I looked over to Cassandra and pointed toward the Breach again.

She smiled in approval and said, “They said you… stepped out of a rift, then fell unconscious. They say a woman was in the rift behind you. No one knows who she was. Is this true?”

I thought for a moment, then felt confused. How **did **I get here? I shook my head and shrugged. I didn’t know. It was the truth, if not the whole truth.

She sighed, then continued, “Alright. Solas seems to think that your mark is important. I do not know all the magical complications. Solas?”

I looked over to Solas again as he started to speak, “Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach’s wake – and it seems I was correct.”

“Meaning it could also close the Breach itself.” Cassandra put in.

I looked up toward the breach, feeling determined, then nodded.

“Then… you’ll help?” Cassandra asks.

I nod. But then I look toward Solas and motion toward my staff. I shake my head, and then look at him again.

His eyebrows raise in question, “Do you not know how to wield your magic da’lan?”

I nod in confirmation, then shrugged. How could I tell them what they saw was me literally fumbling?

Solas looks at me sharply, then focuses on Cassandra, “Seeker, I need some time with her to give her the basics. She must not die. She is the only hope that I know of that could seal the Breach.”

Cassandra tsks in disappointment and disgust, “If you must. But we cannot afford you much time. A half hour at most. That is all.” Her and Varric walk away to give us room.

Solas nods his head in acceptance and looks over at me again, “We must give you the basics as quick as possible. Now, close your eyes and relax. Do you feel a warmth within your chest?”

I sighed and did as he instructed. It took me a moment but, there, in the far distance, I felt a warmth. It was not like Solas’s. His was cool as ice. Minty fresh. Mine felt like a warm fire. Smooth as hot chocolate. Far away I heard Solas say, “Now, reach for it. Think of comfort and safety. Surround yourself with it.”

When I did, I heard a slight gasp. It was like I was surrounded by warm blankets on a winter’s day. It was wonderful. I slowly opened my eyes and found a golden light surrounding me. It was beautiful. I looked over at Solas, imagining that I could share the warmth. Soon, he was covered in light too. I smiled in triumph. This must be a barrier spell!

My smile died on my face when I saw his expression. It was awe. Wonder. Almost child-like. The spell faded away with my happiness. Was this, not right?

“That was truly an experience da’lan. You seem to have remarkable focus. That barrier was perfection.”

I exhaled in relief. I did it. I looked over at my staff with a questioning gaze, how was I to use it?

Solas, anticipating my question, said, “You staff is a conduit. Every mage, including yourself, uses their staff to connect better to the fade. Using your will and filling the staff uses less energy than if you were pulling from just yourself. The fade is where all magic resides. Grab your staff.”

I grabbed my staff then waited expectantly.

“Now, remember the warmth you felt from before, use that warmth to fill the staff. Once you and the staff have come together in your magic, you use the staff to create different spells. These spells range from elemental to necromancy. We will not be able to know for sure without further study which school of magic you show an affinity for, but for now we will go over a few basic elemental ones.”

I nodded my head in acceptance. Eager to get started. My hand was killing me, and I honestly didn’t want to die.

“The first spell we’ll try is winter’s grasp. For this spell you need to think of freezing your target. Think of something so cold that it wouldn’t be able to move.”

He pointed toward a barrel a ways away expectantly. I took a deep breath, filling my staff with my warmth. What was so cold that it wouldn’t move? Oh! An ice sculpture! That was it! I concentrated on how the barrel should be completely ice. How it would shine in the sun. How cold it would feel to the touch. Without warning, something shot out of my staff toward the barrel. I gasped. The barrel was not just frozen, it was exactly what I had envisioned. It had turned into an ice sculpture.

In stunned silence, I looked over at Solas. He was dazed. His eyes wide, his mouth slightly ajar. He looked over at me in amazement, then whispered, “Ehn ane’ma?” (Who are you?) As if sensing my confusion, he shook his head and his face was once again impassive. “Very good da’lan. Now I will teach you a fire spell. This time I want you to think about something hot. Something so hot that it would melt even the strongest of metals.”

A little apprehensive now that my ice spell worked so well, I did as he asked. My staff was already charged, so all that was left was to figure out what was so hot that it would melt something. I thought of a fire but dismissed it easily. Not hot enough. The sun? Oh! Nuclear energy! Yes! Turning toward another barrel, I focused on my thought. Nuclear energy. How it would burn anything that touched it. How it would destroy everything it its path, leaving nothing in its wake. Something shot out of my staff again and this time there was a brief red light, then a blaze of fire so strong I felt the heat out several paces away. After a couple seconds, there was nothing left of the barrel. Just scorched earth where it used to be.

I turned to Solas, who again wore a stunned expression, and waited until he looked back, “That will be enough da’lan. You have three spells at your disposal now: barrier, winters grasp, and flashfire. We do not have time to explore further, I’m afraid.”

I nodded and pointed to the Breach.

“Yes, we should be on our way. Come. Let us hurry.”

As we rounded the bend, Varric smiled at me then looked over at Solas, “Everything good now Chuckles?”

Solas snorted, his face impassive, “As well as to be expected of a newly trained mage.” I inwardly smiled at his blatant posturing. He turned facing Cassandra, “Cassandra, you should know, the magic involved here is unlike any I have ever seen. Your prisoner is a mage, a new one at that, but I find it difficult to imagine any mage having such power.”

Cassandra nodded, “Understood. We must get to the forward camp quickly.”

Varric smirked and pulled his crossbow in front of him lovingly, “Well, Bianca’s excited!”

Cassandra pointed further ahead, “This way, down the bank. The road ahead is blocked.”

As we all file down the path, Varric totted up beside me, “So what’s an elf like you doing in a place like this?”

I stopped suddenly. _A what_?! I slowly put my hands on my face, then felt for my ears. They were long. Too long. I felt my face. It was smaller than I remember. More angular. But there didn’t seem to be any bumps. No vallaslin? Hmmm. My body, although very similar to who I was, was also thinner. Lithe. So, here in this universe, I was an elf. Okay. I could do this. I would not freak out. I would not freak out.

“Well damn Violet. Did you not know you’re an elf?”

Confused by the name, I shook my head. Varric and his nicknames.

“What about where you come from? Your age? Shit do you even know where you are?”

I thought a minute, I had no clue about anything except what was in the game. It would be better if I showed no memory. I shrugged again and shook my head.

Varric sighed loudly and smirked, “Well… we’re fucked.”

I smiled a giggled silently. Man, I missed sarcasm. Thank god for Varric. As we rounded a corner, I felt it. A rift. The magic was similar to Solas. But where his was calm, the rift was angry. My hand flared in response and I gasped in pain.

Cassandra shouted, “Another rift!” then barreled forward.

“We must seal it, quickly!” Solas was already giving Cassandra a barrier. He turned to me, “We need to get you close enough to close it. Do you remember the spells I taught you?”

I nodded. Grim.

“Good. Get as close as you can, and then seal it. I will try and guard you as best I can.”

“Same here Vi. We got your back,” Varric winked.

I took in the scene. Cassandra was trying to fight off several demons, Varric was tearing through them with his bolts, and Solas was guarding and freezing as many as he could. It was my turn. Remembering that I could do a barrier. I felt mine surround me and then I started to make my toward the rift.

Feeling my magic surround me, I tried to burn what I could. Fire was easier to me. Maybe because my magic was so warm. The only issue was that I could only do one at a time. Going off of what Solas said, I wonder how electricity would work. Electricity crackles and stuns… like a stun gun! That’s it! I felt the crackle before it went out of my staff and any demons within my eyesight got caught in the buzz. It only lasted for a few seconds, but they seemed stunned for the moment. You could see the electricity zinging over their mutilated bodies.

Now was my chance, I ran up to the rift and shoved my hand up. The pulling sensation was there again, but this time I knew what to look for. I pulled back and within moments the rift was closed and Cassandra, Varric and Solas had finished off the last of the remaining demons.

Huffing with exhaustion and fatigue and pain still lancing up my right side, I waited until they told me it was safe to go forward.

Cassandra took one last look around and shouted, “The rift is gone! Open the gate!”

The gate to the forward camp opened and we stepped inside. There were people everywhere. Most still angry with me. Their scowls and displeasure known.

“Are you all right da’lan? You seem pale,” Solas said from right behind me. I turned and then made a waiving motion with my hand. Don’t worry about it.

“At least take a lirium drought. We do not know how much mana you’ve exerted.”

I shook my head no. No way was I having titan blood running in my veins. It was a drug. Fuck that. 

“Da’lan-“

I shook my head no more forcefully. I. Would. Not. Take. It.

Solas sighed in resignation, “Then you must rest for a spell. May I see your mark? Does it pain you?”

I nodded and shoved my hand in his face. Once he grabbed my hand, I immediately felt his cool energy swirl and felt just a moments peace. I sighed in contentment.

“It pains you.” Solas confirmed.

I nodded. Then quickly took my hand back. I pointed to the Breach. We needed to move. I didn’t want this thing to kill me.

Solas nodded in return and we made our way towards Leliana and another man. This must be Roderick.

I could hear Leliana’s hard voice, “We must prepare the soldiers!”

“We will do no such thing.” Roderick said just as passionately.

Leliana bristled, I could see it in her stance, “The prisoner must get to the Temple of Sacred Ashes. It is our only chance!”

Roderick sneered, “You have already caused enough trouble without resorting to this exercise in futility.”

Leliana’s tone could freeze ice, “**I** have caused trouble?”

Either Roderick didn’t hear the tone, or he was just stupid. He continued, “You, Cassandra, the Most Holy – haven’t you all done enough already?”

With venom dripping from her voice she said, “You’re not in command here!”

Before she could say something else, he noticed our approach, “Ah, here they come.”

Leliana’s tone was stiff when she spoke, “Chancellor Roderick, this is–“

He cut her off and pointed at me, “I know who she is. As Grand Chancellor of the Chantry, I hereby order you to take this criminal to Val Royeaux to face execution.”

Now it was Cassandra’s turn to bristle, “Order **me**? You are a glorified clerk. A bureaucrat!”

Roderick took exception, “And you are a thug, but a thug who supposedly serves the Chantry!”

Leliana said in a deathly calm voice, “We serve the Most Holy, Chancellor, as you well know.”

Roderick seemed to deflate for a moment then said, “Justinia is dead! We must elect her replacement and obey her orders on the matter.”

I stood quietly, contemplating what I should do when Roderick interrupted my thoughts, “Call a retreat, Seeker. Our position here is hopeless.”

Cassandra stood taller and said, “We can stop this before it’s too late.”

Roderick looked red in the face, “How? You won’t survive long enough to reach the temple, even with all your soldiers.”

Cassandra replied, “We must get to the temple. It’s the quickest route.”

Leliana cut in, “But not the safest. Our forces can charge as a distraction while we go through the mountains.”

Cassandra look incredulous, “We lost contact with an entire squad on that path. It’s too risky.”

Roderick was just getting more upset, his face now almost purple, “Listen to me! Abandon this now, before more lives are lost.”

Now Cassandra looks at me, her steel gaze piercing, “How do **you** think we should proceed?”

I knew that this was supposed to happen, but I still found it surprising that she would ask my opinion anyway. Maybe I was slowly gaining her approval. I pointed to the mountain path. I would not survive an assault during a direct approach.

She grimaced but nodded her approval then glanced at Leliana, “Leliana. Bring everyone left in the valley. Everyone.”

Leliana nodded and moved to do as she was bid.

Roderick, face now completely purple hissed, “On your head be the consequences, Seeker.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter down! This is slow going guys! Sorry for the long waits in between chapter! School is rough lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that everyone like this so far. Let me know how I'm doing if you'd like!
> 
> Edited: to add that I accidentally used da'len (male) instead of da'lan (female).

As we made our way up toward the mountain path Cassandra said, “The tunnel should be just ahead. The path to the temple lies just beyond it.”

I looked all the way up, feeling a little dizzy now seeing up close how many ladders I would have to climb.

“What manner of tunnel is this? A mine?” Solas asked.

Cassandra started up first and shouted over the wind, “Part of an old mining complex. These mountains are full of such paths.”

Varric went next. Then Solas gestured me to go after. I was nervous. About halfway up, I almost slipped, but Solas caught me by the leg and said, “Careful da’lan.”

I just gritted my teeth and nodded. Trying again to move upward without dying. After we made it all the way up, I exhaled in relief. I never wanted to do that again.

After we all walked a few paces we could see a tunnel.

“And your missing soldiers are in there somewhere?” Varric asked hesitantly.

Grim, Solas replied, “Along with whatever has detained them.”

Cassandra just nodded and went in first. After my eyes adjusted rather quickly, I noticed three demons. Cassandra took point and shouted to get their attention. Varric went after the one farthest away, and Solas and I started to freeze those nearest Cassandra. After Solas’s barrier fell I put one on her. Her shout of surprise was quickly squelched by the demon’s screaming.er Her

It went rather quickly and when we were finished Cassandra turned and said, “Was that your barrier Girl?”

I nodded; a bit confused.

She turned to Solas, “It felt different than most I have encountered. It seemed to shield well enough, but I also felt an energy. Do you know what I speak of Solas?”

Solas thought a moment then nodded, “I believe I do Seeker. It seems as though our newest member not only shields with a barrier, but also rejuvenates the wearer.”

Shocked, my mouth hung open. This was not in the game! There were so many variables that now weren’t in the game. I can only hope that the major events haven’t changed….

“Well damn Violet! That’s fantastic!” Varric approved enthusiastically.

Still wary, I nodded slowly. We started forward again, stopping occasionally to loot what was left within some of the rooms. I knew that turning the corner we would meet some more demons, so I pulled on Solas’s tunic and pointed.

He gave me a hard look. I hope he didn’t think anything bad. God. What was I supposed to do without giving myself completely away?

Turning the corner we came upon the demons; Solas and I ready with our magic. It was over quickly, and we set off for the exit of the tunnel. Coming into the light outside we saw dead soldiers.

Varric sighs, “Guess we found the soldiers.”

Determined, Cassandra said, “That cannot be all of them.”

“So the others could be holed up ahead?” Varric asked.

“Our priority must be the Breach. Unless we seal it soon, no one is safe.” Solas cut in.

Varric huffed, “I’m leaving that to our elven friend here.”

I could feel the rift again before we saw it. Rounding a corner on the path we came upon the rest of the soldiers. Several were trying to fend off several demons.

I griped my staff, then pointed. The rest of the party nodded, and we ran over there. Cassandra again barreled through and I cast my barrier on all those within my view. I then stunned as many demons as I could while making my way toward the rift, confident in my team now to have my back.

My palm was in some serious pain by the time I closed the rift. I knew that we needed to hurry. The Breach’s mark was spreading. I closed my eyes breathing heavily. I needed to ignore it for as long as possible. I had to live. I **had** to.

“Lady Cassandra!” one of the soldiers bowed.

Cassandra smirked, “You’re alive!”

The soldier stood straight, “Just barely.”

As they kept talking, I felt Solas step closer to me, “Sealed, as before. You are becoming quite proficient at this.”

I looked up into his eyes and tried to smile. It was probably more of a grimace, but the pain was taking up much of my attention.

He looked thoughtful, taking a step closer as if to reach for my hand, “Is it the mark?”

I looked away, I knew he would try and stabilize it, I knew, but we had other things to focus on right now. Like getting to the last rift. I really hoped I wouldn’t die closing that. I quickly nodded and stepped away. We needed to leave. I could feel that I didn’t have much time left.

I came up just as Cassandra was telling them to head back. We looked at one another, nodded, and started for the Temple of Sacred Ashes. I could smell it before I saw it. The smell of burning bodies was something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. These poor people.

“The Temple of Sacred Ashes,” Solas said quietly.

“What’s left of it.” Varric said disgustedly.

Cassandra pointed out toward a spot a few feet away, “That is where you walked out the Fade and our soldiers found you. They said a woman was in the rift behind you. No one knows who she was.”

I nodded.

Getting closer toward the rift, Varric said, “The breach is a long way up.”

As we came closer, we heard something behind us. It was Leliana and her company, “You’re here! Thank the Maker.”

Cassandra replied, “Leliana, have your men take up positions around the temple.”

As Leliana turned to do that Cassandra looked expectantly at me, “This is your chance to end this. Are you ready?”

Griping my staff, feeling the pain of the mark, I nodded; resolute. I then pointed at the Breach, then me, and gave a confused look.

Solas, seeming to understand my supposed confusion, replied, “No. This rift was the first and is the key. Seal it, and perhaps we seal the Breach.”

Cassandra nodded, “Then let’s find a way down. And be careful.”

As we made our way down, I saw for the first time red lyrium. It felt awful. Wrong. The song was grating and the closer we got the hotter it felt.

Varric, sounding scared for the first time, said, “You know this stuff is red lyrium, Seeker.”

Cassandra replied, “I see it, Varric.”

“But what it’s **doing** here?” he said, his voice hard.

Solas responded, “Magic could have drawn on lyrium beneath the temple, corrupted it…”

Varric made sure to steer me away from it, “It’s evil. Whatever you do don’t touch it.”

The closer we got the more I could feel that this place was wrong.

“Now is the hour of our victory. Bring forth the sacrifice,” a booming voice said. It was like it was on loudspeaker. God, he sounded demented in real life.

Cassandra looked around, her face hard, “What are we hearing?”

Solas replied, “At a guess: The person who created the Breach.”

“Keep the sacrifice still.” God Corypheus was a bastard. I really, really didn’t want to meet him. I shivered.

“Someone help me!” A woman shouted.

Cassandra pauses for the first time, shock etched on her face, “That is Divine Justinia’s voice! We must hurry!”

As we made it to the ground floor closer to the rift, I could feel magic swirling around me. Within a few seconds a scene formed of Justinia being held captive with Corypheus, although shadow in this scene, in front of her. We see me bursting in, and gasp in shock. Then Corypheus telling his minions to kill me.

“That was you. Most Holy called out to you. But… You were there! Who attacked? And the Divine, is she…? Was this vision true? What are we seeing?” Cassandra’s hold on me was tight. I shook my head. I couldn’t tell her. I hope she took it as me not knowing.

Solas came up next to us and said, ““Echoes of what happened here. The Fade bleeds into this place.”

Cassandra, after a moment, released me and sighed, “I am sorry Girl. This is all too shocking to consider at this time.”

Solas continued, “This rift is not sealed, but it is closed… albeit temporarily. I believe with the mark, the rift can be opened and then sealed properly and safely. However, opening the rift will likely attract attention from the other side.”

Cassandra’s gaze hardened, and she shouted to all within range, “That means demons. Stand ready!”

I came up closer to the rift, Solas by my side. I looked at him, and he nodded. Opening a rift was much easier than closing. It was like it wanted to be open. As soon as it did, a pride demon emerged. It was huge. Like a cross between a dragon and a giant. The scales gleaming with the ichor running down it’s length. It’s demented roar taunted us. The irony was not lost on me as Pride began its siege, that I also stood next to pride.

I knew we had to break its defenses. Cassandra, ever the tank, charged with a fierce battle cry. I put a barrier around her and as many soldiers as I could. Running behind the demon and close to the rift again, I tried to close it. The tug-of-war lasted a few seconds before it popped but didn’t close. My arm was burning, but I knew that this had weakened the demon’s armor.

After a few moments, Cassandra shouted, “More coming through the rift!”

I did everything I could think of that Solas showed me. I froze them. I burned them. Stunned them. Their shrieks would give me nightmares, I knew. I kept placing my barrier on everyone as much as I could. If Solas was right, then my little bit extra would keep them going for longer.

Twice more I disrupted the rift, until I could hear the loud shriek of defeat from the pride demon.

“Now! Seal the rift!” Cassandra shouts.

I knew this might kill me, but I had to try. I started to tug with all my might. It was so hard, and I was so tired. I could feel the enticing way the Veil wanted me. Could feel it like a dying man in a desert wants water. But I gritted my teeth and kept at it.

More and more I kept tugging. I could feel myself falling to my knees. I was so close. Just a little more. Just a moment more… I was pretty sure I was screaming at this point. The pain was all consuming. I wasn’t even sure if I was alive anymore. With a sudden pop, the rift closed and with that came a gust of energy so strong that I was shoved backwards.

All went black.

\-------------------------------------------------

I could feel light behind my eyes when I awoke, but I didn’t open them. Taking note of how my body felt, I lay there contemplating that I didn’t die. With the events that had happened, I could only surmise that I would be alive until Solas took my arm… If that was the way things would play out. I wasn’t sure. I could feel no vallaslin, so I wasn’t Dalish. Would that make a difference? My magic, too, had been unpredictable. I need to write, I decided. I needed to make some notes. I needed to compare what I remembered with what happened and what could happen.

With a small sigh I opened my eyes and realized that I was in a cabin. It felt warm and as I tried to sit up, I felt a hand on my shoulder, “Da’lan. You should not get up too soon.”

I whipped my head to the side hearing his voice. It was supposed to be a servant! What was he doing here? Looking at him in shock, I noticed that he looked tired. How long was I out for?

Reading the question, he said, “After you closed the rift, we brought you back to Haven. You have been on the precipice of death for almost three days. Your mark is, however, stable now. It appears that I was correct, again.”

Waving him off, I tried to sit up again. I felt sore, but not overly so. I knew we needed to get things moving. I had no idea of a timeline though. It wasn’t like I could just fly through all the travelling we had to do. This wasn’t a game. This was real. I sighed. I needed to write.

Solas huffed in annoyance and helped me to sit up. He still smelled of mint and outdoors. It was a wonderfully calm scent. Looking down, I was glad to realize that I was in a shift. Small miracles. Before he stepped away, I grabbed his shoulder, stopping him. He looked at me quizzically. I reached up and touched the side of his face. His grey eyes widened, but he did not move. I felt under his eyes and noticed that they were bruising.

He must have been with me this whole time. He needed sleep. I know that the Fade is important to him. How could I tell him that? Would I be able to speak properly?

I had to try. I looked him in the eyes, and whispered, “Sleep.”

His mouth opened in surprise, then whispered back, “You can speak.”

I nodded slowly, then tried again, “It… has been a long time. I did not know if I remembered how.” I sounded strange to my ears. My voice was different than I remembered. More melodic. More womanly. At least this time I didn’t slur.

We just sat there like that for a time, close and looking at one another, until we heard a knock at the door. Solas gasped and stepped away from me so quickly it was almost like he wasn’t near me at all; his face impassive once more.

Solas answered, “Yes?”

“I am here with her change of clothes ser, and - Oh! I didn’t know you were awake; I swear!”

The poor elven girl looked ready to feint. She quickly fell to her knees at my silence and said, “I beg your forgiveness and your blessing. I am but a humble servant. You’re back in Haven, my lady. They say you saved us. The breach stopped growing, just like the mark on your hand. It’s all anyone has talked about for the last three days!”

I shook my head in frustration. She should not be bowing! I looked over to Solas for help, and he took pity on us, “Young one, you are fine. She has just awoken, and I’m sure she would enjoy a fresh change of clothes and a bath.”

The servant girl, getting up rather quickly, said, “I’m sure Lady Cassandra will want to know you’ve wakened. She said, ‘at once’! I will arrange a bath.”

I sighed and nodded. I knew she was frightened, but she looked at me as if I was a terror demon.

She quickly left and once again I was alone with Solas. We looked at each other, and after a moment he spoke, “I should retire as well. I hope you enjoy your accommodations.” And just as quickly as the servant left, he did as well.

Well. Okay. I didn’t know what to make of that, but I had no time to ponder. Gingerly getting out of bed, I tried to stand. When that proved fruitful, I smiled. There was a mirror on the desk nearest the window, and I carefully walked over toward it. Sitting down on the chair and staring at myself, I felt numb. I looked so… elfy. My face was thin and angled. My lips full and slightly red. I was right in guessing that there was no vallaslin. My hair was white…. Okay. That was different. And long, So long. That was also new. It was my eyes, though, that caught my attention. I now knew where Varric got his nickname from. My eyes were the most pretty shade of violet.

Looking at myself for a few more minutes in awe, I finally got up when I heard the servant coming in with the bath. It was a simple circular tub. Honestly, though, I didn’t care. Once I sank into the steaming water, I felt a million times better. Finishing up with my bath, I went over toward the clothing. A simple tunic with leather trousers and undergarments with soft leather boots. Taking a deep breath for fortitude, I donned my jacket and stepped out into the cool air.

Snow was everywhere. So were people. The town where I was residing, Haven, was bigger than the one in the game. Trying not to stare directly into anyone’s eyes, I straightened out my posture and tried to look confident. I looked around and spotted the top of a larger building. Hoping that this would be the Chantry, I made my way over. Everyone was whispering, and although I could get the gist of what they were saying due to the game, I couldn’t hear exactly what was said, but they didn’t appear to be malignant. 

Closing in on the chantry, I noticed how big the building was. Not only was it tall, but the building looked like a medieval church. But, I suppose, it **was** a medieval church. I snorted. Coming into the church the smell of dust, incense and candlewax filled the air. I knew that Cassandra, Leliana, and Roderick were in the back.

Approaching the door I could hear them arguing, “Have you gone completely mad? She should be taken to Val Royeaux immediately, to be tried by whomever becomes Divine.”

“I do not believe she is guilty.” replied Cassandra.

Roderick scoffed, “The elf **failed**, Seeker. The Breach is still in the sky. For all you know, she intended it this way.”

I knew that this happened but hearing it still kind of hurt. I opened the door before I could hear anymore, and all six eyes swiveled my way. Two angry, two contemplating, and two in approval.

Roderick immediately spoke to the guards in the room, “Chain her. I want her prepared for travel to the capital for trial.”

Cassandra scoffed and said, “Disregard that, and leave us.”

I stepped fully into the room as the guards closed the door. It was silent for a beat, then Roderick spoke again, “You walk a dangerous line, Seeker.”

Cassandra said, “The Breach is stable, but it is still a threat. I will not ignore it.”

She looked at me and I nodded emphatically.

Then, Leliana chimes in dangerously, “Someone was behind the explosion at the Conclave. Someone Most Holy did not expect. Perhaps they died with the others – or have allies who yet live.”

“**I** am a suspect?” Roderick sputtered.

Leliana nodded, serious, “You, and many others.”

Roderick glared at her then, “But **not** the prisoner.”

I stood taller and glared right back. Knowing Roderick was wrong didn’t make me like him any better.

“I heard the voices in the temple. The Divine called to her for help,” Cassandra reasoned.

“So her survival, that **thing** on her hand – all a coincidence?” Roderick sneered.

“Providence,” Cassandra deadpanned, “The Maker sent her to us in our darkest hour.”

All eyes turned to me again. I stood my ground, not saying anything. I couldn’t make them believe anything, but I could let them believe what they wanted. It was enough.

Leliana hummed, “The Breach remains, and your mark is our only hope of closing it.”

Cassandra swept passed everyone and went into the back room and came out holding a book.

Roderick, sensing defeat, sighed, “This is not for you to decide.”

Cassandra then slams a book on the table, “You know what this is, Chancellor? A writ from the Divine, granting us authority to act. As of this moment, I declare the Inquisition reborn.”

Roderick’s mouth opened in shock as Cassandra rounded on him, “We will close the Breach, we will find those responsible, and we will restore order with or without your approval.”

Roderick sneered, and knowing when he was defeated he rushed out of the room in a huff.

Silence for a moment and then Leliana looked at me, “This is the Divine’s directive: Rebuild the Inquisition of old. Find those who will stand against the chaos. We aren’t ready. We have no leader, no numbers, and now no Chantry support.”

“But we have no choice: We must act now. With you at our side,” Cassandra added.

It was tense while I contemplated. I knew what I had to do, but now that the decision was before me, I was terrified. Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them and looked at the two women, Cassandra looked tense. The waiting, the not knowing making her want to hit something I was sure. Leliana looked cool and serene, but I knew deep down that she was sad. Hurt. Angry. She needed my help. My decision made, I nodded.

Cassandra sighed in relief and Leliana graced me with a small smile, “Help us fix this before it’s too late.”

We all shook hands and smiled at one another. I knew that this would come up, and that Leliana would uncover it eventually, so I said quietly, “I have regained my voice.”

They stood silently for a moment before Leliana said, “Why did you not speak before?”

I shrugged, “Before Solas, I had no idea what any of you were saying,” a half-truth, “And after I didn’t have the time to explain…”

They waited patiently, “Before I woke up. Before the Breach. I was mute.” Shock etched their features, “I do not know how I came to have my voice again… but I am grateful,” also half-truth, “I will help, but I do not intend to speak often. Only when necessary. It…” Okay, time to just wing it, “It pains me to speak.”

They were silent for a beat, then they both nodded.

Leliana said, “We will make sure you have whatever you need Herald.”

I winced at the name, but said anyway, “I would like paper, ink and pens, and maybe charcoal If I could.”

Cassandra nodded, “Noted. I will let Josephine, our ambassador, know of your wishes. In the meantime, you should rest and eat. The tavern is up the left path toward the center of Town. We will have another meeting tomorrow morning with the other advisers so we can assess what must be done.”

I nodded and then left. Making my way toward the tavern, I spotted what I hoped to be Solas’s cabin. Since I didn’t see him about, and I was not inclined to knock, I left him alone. He needed rest anyways for staying up with me.

Entering the tavern was surreal. It almost looked exactly like the game version, just a bit bigger with more room and a kitchen in the back for food. I spotted Varric and made my way over.

“Violet! What’s up kiddo? Come over and have a seat. Are you hungry?” he smiled.

I returned his smile and nodded.

“Flissa! Some food and beverages would be most welcome!” Varric yelled happily.

Flissa, the barkeep, made her way over and smiled pleasantly, “Varric. You already ate. And who is this young child?”

Varric chuckled, “This is the one who stopped the Breach!”

The whole tavern fell silent with that statement. I felt all eyes on me and was trying not to wriggle in anxiety.

“Well,” Flissa beamed, “Welcome!” the tavern resumed its chatter, “What can I get for you darling?”

Before she could try anything, Varric answered, “She can’t talk Flissa. She’ll have your regular fare along with… water or ale Vi?”

I held up one finger. I didn’t like alcohol. Too many variables.

“And water. Thanks Flissa.” She nodded and soon flitted away.

“So. Kid… Now that Cassandra is out of earshot…Are you alright?” Varric askes after a minute.

I look over at him and nod wirily.

Varric chuckles, “Most people would have spread all your achievements out over more than one day.”

I snort, and right as I was about to retort I hear someone come up next to me.

“Wassa purtty thin-thing like youz doin in a plaze like thish?” I felt a grip on my arm.

I stiffened and refused to look. I could smell the alcohol on his breath. I could see out of the corner of my eye Varric slowly reach for Bianca.

“Oiy! Knife ear whore! I asked - asked you a question!” I felt his grip on my arm now squeezing. I knew I would have bruises. They always left bruises.

“Let her go, or I’ll put a bolt straight through your brain. Do you even know who you’re talking to?” Varric seethed.

The man squeezed tighter before letting go. He got close to me, the rancid breath close to my ear, and whispered, “I’ll remember this, you cunt.” He stood up and stumbled over to another part of the tavern.

I was shaking but trying to keep my face impassive. This was not like in the game. The Inquisitor never got hassled. I could feel my old fears taking root in my brain, making it hard to hear Varric, “Don’t worry Vi. I won’t let anything happen to you. We need a guard on you. It’s not safe here. Especially for an elf. Let’s hurry and eat and then leave.”

I nodded, afraid to let my terror escape. We ate quickly then left the tavern.

After arriving near my cabin, I turned to Varric, ushering him inside. After the door shut, I felt my terror release. I collapsed and started to shake violently.

“Hey there Vi,” Varric soothed, “You’re fine girl. Don’t let ilk like him bother you. He’s nothing. He’s less than nothing.”

After several minutes, my terror abated and I looked up at Varric, a small smile on my face, “Thank you.”

His moth opened in shock. Then he smiled real wide, “Hot damn girl! You **can** talk!”

My smile growing, I answered softly, “I used to be mute. Waking up has been… trying.”

“So wait, you were mute before you came out of that rift?” Varric asks, his eyes glinting.

I laughed quietly, “Yes. I do not know how I came to speak again. Talking was non-existent before, and now it’s just tiring. I have no wish to speak often. Only when necessary.”

He nods in contemplation, “At least now if there’s something important you can tell us.”

I nodded in agreement. I was now so tired. The day had been exhausting and I was still reeling from the scene in the tavern.

Varric understood and went over to the door. Before exiting he said, “I am always here if you need me Vi. Lock the door after I leave.”

I quickly complied once the door was shut. There were candles lit and on my desk were the things I had asked Cassandra for earlier. Sitting at the desk I took one of the journals, pen and ink, and began to write.

After several hours I had written all I remembered from the game. It was a fair amount. Hopefully I’ll either remember more or this was most everything that was important. Feeling slightly better, I stretched and went to the bed. The sun was down, and the stars were out. I fell asleep within moments.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are again everyone! So sorry that my updates have been lacking. I am swamped this semester. Hopefully as we get toward Fall break and Xmas break things will pick up again! Thanks for sticking with it those that have! <3

Everything was bright. No color. No shapes. It was like staring at a blank canvas without the harsh glare of the sun.

I didn’t know how long I stood there, staring. Where was this? I remembered falling asleep… maybe this was the fade? But wasn’t the fade supposed to have some form? Shape? **Something**? Weren’t there supposed to be spirits? It was so quiet.

What was I supposed to do?

“There is no shape because you have not willed it so.”

I turned at the voice behind me and found a man in armor. His breastplate gleaming in the white expanse of space.

“I’m sorry. I’m not sure what you mean. May I ask who you are?” I asked.

The soldier smiled and inclined his head, “I am Knowledge, My Lady. You seek knowledge of your surrounding and I can offer that to you.”

It clicked then. He was a spirit! What a wonder, “I am pleased to meet you Knowledge. If you could please explain what you meant by shaping, then I would be pleased of your assistance.”

He opened his arms wide and said, “The Fade is susceptible to change. You can will it to be what you want just by a mere thought. Not all who encounter the Fade have this ability, only those who are called Dreamers_. _Somniari. _ Erelanen_.”

I thought a moment, “So this space is white because I have not thought of a place to be?”

The spirit smiled, “Just so, little one.”

“Hmmm,” I thought. Where did I want to be? Someplace warm. Someplace soothing. A rare memory surfaced suddenly, and I knew where I wanted to be. I closed my eyes and thought of my cabin in the woods with the spring nearby. It was quiet. My grandmother had lived there, and I had too before she had passed. Those were some of the best memories I could remember having. Before the crash. Before the silence. The smell of dirt, grass and moss. The sound of the stream trickling over several pebbles. The feel of warm sunshine through trees swaying slightly in the wind. 

When I opened my eyes I gasped. It was exactly as I remembered. Every little detail perfect. I slowly walked over to the stream and put my bare feet in the water. It was cool and crisp along my feet. Smooth. Perfect. I looked back over at Knowledge and smiled wide.

“Thank you,” I said in gratitude, “I would love to learn all you could teach me, if you are willing.”

The spirit nodded, looking extremely pleased, “Very well. Let us go over warding your fade space first.”

We spent the rest of the time going over everything I could think of to ask, and far more of things that I didn’t.

I awoke feeling refreshed and happy for the first time in who knew how long. I was so grateful that my first time in the Fade was pleasant. I knew from the games that they could be anything but. I also knew I had to be careful; Knowledge surmised as much. Demons were real. They were scary. And they most definitely could kill me. In fact, he spent quite a bit of time teaching me to block out others from my mind unless invited.

Moving around the cabin and getting ready, I was surprised when I heard a knock at the door. Wondering who it could be, I was surprised to find Solas standing there in the morning light.

At my silence he finally spoke, “Good morning da’lan. I was wondering if I could persuade you to be in my presence this morning.”

I scoffed and opened my door wider, ushering him in, then looked at him expectantly. What did he want?

“It has come to my attention that there has been some disturbances as of late.” He talked further when that produced no emotion from me, “As to your presence.”

Still confused I stared.

His gaze hardened a little, eyes turning to blue flint, “Last evening there was an altercation between you and another member of Haven.”

It came back then. I paled a little then shrugged. I knew he was drunk. For all I knew he wouldn’t even remember.

His eyes going darker, he said, “I have come to make sure you are well. I could not find you in the Fade and I would be remiss in my duties if I did not check on you.”

Well huh. I guess news travels fast. I walked over calmly and took his hand in mine. He watched me, still as a statue.

I looked up into his eyes and said quietly, “I am fine. I have seen worse.”

His gaze seemed conflicted. It was like he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t.

I squeezed his hand, “Varric was there.”

He sighed and closed his eyes, “Still. It should not have happened. You are the only one who can close the Breach. If harm fell upon you…”

I decided to turn the discussion to something different. My other hand grazed his face and I looked at him closely, “Did you sleep well?”

He looked astonished, “Yes da’lan. I- “

I interrupted, patting his cheek and stepped back, “That’s good. I am supposed to get to a meeting today. Would you like to accompany me to the Chantry?”

He stood still for another moment, then seemed to accept my offer, “Of course. Let us be going.”

We made our way quickly to the Chantry, the whispers just as loud from others as before. I wonder if it would ever get better, or if the whispers would only get worse.

We paused outside the doors, “I shall leave you now. Let me know if you require my assistance.”

I grabbed his hand once more and pulled him down to whisper in his ear, “Can we discuss the fade later? You said you could not find me.”

His ears turned a lovely shade of pink. He nodded mechanically, then left.

Watching him leave, I sighed. I then turned and made my way inside. Cassandra was waiting. We fell into step together quietly.

It was Cassandra who spoke first, “Does it trouble you?”

I looked at her, and she clarified, “The anchor. Does it trouble you?”

I looked at it, feeling the magic within and the pull that it created. It was not as painful since sealing that rift, but I did feel a slight ache. It would probably never fade.

I shook my head no and smiled.

She continued, “You did everything we asked of you. We take our victories where we can.”

I nodded.

“What’s important is that your mark is now stable, as is the Breach. You’ve given us time, and Solas believes that a second attempt might succeed – provided the mark has more power. The same level of power used to open the Breach in the first place. That is not easy to come by,” she said.

I snorted, rolling my eyes in acceptance.

Cassandra gave a rare smirk, and said, “Hold on to that sense of humor.”

We came into the room where I had met Cassandra and Leliana before. There stood two more figures. One, a dark-haired, dark-skinned beauty with light eyes. Josephine, I presumed. The other was a stoic man with curly golden hair and tired amber eyes. He was handsome, I admit. More real and apparent to me now then when I saw from a screen.

Cassandra first pointed to Cullen, “May I present Commander Cullen, leader of the Inquisition’s forces.”

Cullen smirked slightly, stretching his scar, “Such as they are. We lost many soldiers in the valley, and I fear many more before this is through.”

I looked at him and smiled in greeting. He really was very handsome. That smirk. That scar. That blush.

Cassandra then pointed to Josephine, “This is lady Josephine Montilyet, our ambassador and chief diplomat.”

She smiled pleasantly, “Andaran Atish'an.”

My smile widened and I raised an eyebrow.

She now gave me a real smile, a shy one, “You’ve just heard the entirety of my knowledge on the elven language, I’m afraid.”

I scoffed and waived my hand merrily at her. She was too cute. Such a nice person. I could feel her aura. She was pleasant.

Cassandra then nodded toward Leliana, “And of course you know Sister Leliana.”

I smiled and finally spoke, “Good to see you again.”

Leliana went on, “My position here involves a degree of…”

Cassandra interrupted, “She is our spymaster.”

Leliana scoffed in amusement, “Yes. Tactfully put, Cassandra.”

The room fell silent for a moment before Josephine spoke, “So you **can** talk. Would you permit me to ask some questions?”

Liliana stepped in, “It pains her to speak much Josie. She has been forthright in her knowledge about what she has encountered. She will be mainly silent, unless she wishes otherwise.”

Josie had the grace to blush, “My apologies, My Lady. I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

I smiled at her, “You don’t. I can speak. It is different. Hard. But I will always be honest and let you all know if there is anything important.”

Everyone seemed to relax after that.

Cassandra went right to business, “I mentioned that your mark needs more power to close the Breach for good.”

Leliana said, “Which means we must approach the rebel mages for help.”

Cullen looked upset and wary, “And I still disagree. The Templars could serve just as well.”

Cassandra replied, “We need power, Commander. Enough magic poured into that mark– “

Cullen interrupted, “Might destroy us all. Templars could suppress the breach, weaken it so– “

This time Leliana interrupted, “Pure speculation.”

“**I** was a Templar. I know what they’re capable of,” Cullen practically growled.

Josephine chose this moment to tactfully add, “Unfortunately, neither group will even speak to us yet. The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition – and you, specifically.”

My eyebrows shot up. So this was similar, at least.

Cullen saw my look, “Shouldn’t they be busy arguing over who’s going to become Divine?”

Josephine chided, “Some are calling you – an elf – the 'Herald of Andraste.’ That frightens the Chantry. The remaining Clerics have declared it blasphemy, and we heretics for harboring you.”

Cullen grunted, “Chancellor Roderick’s doing, no doubt.”

Josephine continued, “It limits our options. Approaching the mages or templars for help is currently out of the question.”

I shrugged my shoulders, not really giving them an opinion on the matter.

Leliana said sincerely, “People are desperate for a sign of hope. For some, you’re that sign.”

Ever pragmatic, Josephine stated calmly, “And to others, a symbol of everything that’s gone wrong.”

I nodded in acknowledgement.

Cullen sighed, “Let’s be honest: They would have censured us no matter what.”

I finally spoke, “The Breach doesn’t worry them?”

Cullen spoke again, “They do know that it is a threat, they just don’t think we can stop it.”

“The Chantry is telling everyone that you’ll make it worse,” Josephine added.

Leliana spoke up again, “There is something you can do. A Chantry Cleric by the name Mother Giselle has asked to speak to you. She is not far, and knows those involved far better than I. Her assistance could be invaluable.”

I nodded in acceptance.

She continued, “You’ll find Mother Giselle tending to the wounded in the Hinterlands near Redcliffe.”

“Look for other opportunities to expand the Inquisition’s influence while you’re there.” Cullen added.

Josie smiled, “We need agents to extend our reach beyond this valley, and you’re better suited than anyone to recruit them.”

Cassandra stood next to her, “In the meantime, let’s think of other options. I won’t leave this all to the Herald.”

I smiled gratefully.

We went through hours of planning. What was needed and what wasn’t. By the end of the meeting I was famished.

My stomach growled and Cassandra smiled, “Shall we convene for now and break our fast?”

I nodded, but said, “When will we leave?”

Cassandra said, “Not for a couple weeks. You need to train in your magic, and we need to make sure we are prepared with armor and supplies before we make our trip.”

I nodded as we made our way to the tavern. As we neared it, I was beginning to get a little nervous.

Cassandra, sensing my hesitation, said, “We… have heard about what happened to you last night. I hope you know that it was taken care of.”

I looked at her in shock.

Chagrined, she looked away, “We were remiss in our duty to protect you properly. Leliana now has people watching you for safety reasons. I… am sorry.”

I stood next to her and patted her arm, she finally looked back at me and I smiled. Shaking my head in a don’t worry about it motion.

She smiled, a real smile this time, and continued, “Now, let’s eat.”

\---------------------------------------------------

It was later when I approached Solas’s cabin. I hoped that I wouldn’t be interrupting anything. Right as I was about to reach for the door, he opened it.

Surprised, I stood there.

“Good afternoon, Herald. How may I be of assistance?” He asked.

I lifted my eyebrow at his ‘Herald’ comment and pointed to inside his cabin.

He moved aside, “Of course. My apologies. Come inside.”

Walking in, I could smell him in the room. The fire was crackling, and books were spread out all over his desk. I noticed that his bed was in disarray and that he seemed a little flushed.

“Did I catch you at a bad time Solas?” I asked, trying to be genuine.

“No- ah. No. I did, after all, tell you to come to me should you have a need. What can I help you with?” his ear tips were now pink. Interesting.

I walked over and sat on his bed, leveled him a look and watched as his ears got more red, “You said that you would talk to me of the fade, and train me in magic. I would be most appreciative of your assistance in both endeavors.”

He just looked at me a moment, then his mask was back in place, “Yes. We should get right to that. How much do you know of the fade? Of magic?”

I smiled, “Of the fade, what I went through last night. As for magic, what you taught me when we tried to seal the breach and yesterday.”

He seemed surprised, “Interesting.” He went over and handed me a book, “Read this. It should help you with understanding the theory of magic.”

I looked at the book and noticed that it was in a different language. A bit embarrassed, I said, “Solas. I cannot read in this language.”

He looked stunned, “It is in common.”

I looked at him and said flatly, “I don’t know common.”

Truly curious, his gaze intensified, “What language do you know then da’lan?”

This was dangerous territory. I couldn’t reveal my hand too soon. He would either kill me outright or… or kill me. There wasn’t a lot of ways to go about this. I focused on my native tongue and said, “_I know that you are the dread wolf. I know that you want to save your people. But you don’t have to. I am here. Please don’t forsake this world for one that has already been gone. We are people. We are real. We are ALIVE.”_

His face was in awe, “That was… incredible! What language is that? Can you write it? Read it? In all my travels in the fade I have never encountered such…”

He stopped when he saw me smile sadly, “Yes. I can read and write in my language. But it is a story that is best left forgotten. Suffice it to say I do not know how I came to be here, through a rift. Magic was… not apparent where I come from. It is why I don’t know much. I would be sincerely grateful if you could teach me Solas.”

He was silent for a moment, “Where **are** you from then, da’lan?”

I narrowed my eyes, not liking his tone, and whispered, “Where are **you** from Solas?”

There was a slight twitch on his mouth and his eyes narrowed lightly as well, “Fair point.”

I held the book out toward him, “Could you read this to me? Then teach me how to read?”

His gaze softened and his smile was warmer this time, “It would be my pleasure.”

After several hours of him reading _Magic: The Practical Application_ and me writing down all my notes in tandem, we finally stopped near evening. Before I could put my journal away Solas looked down at it.

“That writing… it is a wonder. You can actually read this?”

I rolled my eyes, “Yes, Solas. I can.”

Solas stood then and stretched, “After going through the theoretical applications, we shall head over toward the training yard and put theory into practice. According to Cassandra, we do not have time to dally.” He peered over my shoulder at my notes, “That truly is remarkable. Would you be willing to teach me this while we go over your lessons?”

I nodded, silently laughing at his curiosity, while stretching as well, “Of course Solas.”

Solas opened the door and when I stepped out, he followed. I raised my eyebrow and he said, “I would be remiss if I let you meander by yourself. I do not think that we need a repeat of last night. I shall accompany you to the tavern for your nightly meal then make sure that you arrive at your cabin safely. I shall also teach you a simple ward that tells you when there is someone who is outside your residence.”

At this I raised both eyebrows. He really was highhanded; acting as if I had no knowledge. I suppose, as far as he knew, I **had** no knowledge. It was adorable. Boy, was he in for a surprise. It made me smile and I could feel my cheeks warm. I reached up and patted his cheek, then without another word I turned and made my way toward the tavern, laughing inside. His surprised face was priceless. Riling him was so easy.

Opening the door I immediately spotted Varric at his usual table near the back. I headed over there and sat down next to him. As he regaled us with more stories I all but tuned him out. Honestly, I was in a very thoughtful mood. Solas too, I imagine. This was tricky. How could I hope to change events if I had to keep this secret? I knew that if I told anyone that it would get out about me knowing the future. That would be bad. Corypheus could not know about what I knew. I wanted to tell Solas, but at this point I knew not what he thought of me yet. How could I hope to change things for the better and help if I could not speak of what I knew?

“Well Vi, Chuckles, I might as well talk to this wall I’m sitting next to,” Varric said.

I immediately pouted and frowned.

“I apologize Mater Tethras,” Solas stood as he talked, “It appears that both of our heads are remiss from participating in this discussion. The Herald is probably tired after such a long day. We should be going now.”

I felt Varric’s gaze on us. Eyes narrowing he replied, “Yea. Whatever you say Chuckles. If you wanted more alone time with her you should just say so.”

I smiled at the indignant look on Solas’s face, the slight tinge of red on his cheeks, then quickly bent over to give Varric a hug and quick kiss on the cheek.

Arriving at my cabin door I beckoned him in. Turning toward the fire pit I summoned a small flame and got the hearth warm.

“Come,” Solas said, “I shall show you that ward before you retire, da’lan.”

Smiling at his scholarly tone she said, “I would like your assistance with something first, if I may ask.”

Cautiously he replied, “Of course. What is it?”

“I have met a spirit, and it has taught me about warding my dreams and other important things. What I would ask of you is to make sure I’m applying what we have practiced correctly.”

His mouth hung open in surprise, “You have met a spirit? In the fade? What? When?”

I giggled, “Last night Solas. It was probably why you could not find me. It was one of the first things it taught me. Warding my dreams.”

Smiling with excitement now, he said, “What spirit was it?”

“It claimed it was Knowledge. I feel strongly that it was not a malicious spirit and definitely not a demon.”

His eyes narrowed in curiosity, “How would you be able to tell?”

I stared back without flinching, “My intuition has never once failed me Solas. Never.”

We were quiet for a while after that, both contemplating the other. Finally, I said, “Are you ready to see if I have the wards correct?”

He just nodded and watched me quietly while I set the wards that Knowledge taught me in the Fade. When I was done, he sighed, “That was well done. The spirit taught you well.”

I smiled, “Thank you. If you would like, I could see if he would be willing to meet you as well?”

That brought a smile from the bald elf, “I would be most appreciative. We will continue your training tomorrow.”

I walked him toward the door, but before he opened it, I stopped him, “Solas.”

He looked back at me with a curious gaze, “Yes, da’lan?”

I reached up to cup his cheek, noting his widening eyes, “Sleep well.” I then dropped my hand, opened the door, and looked up at him.

He stood there for a moment, and our gazes locked. There was a profound moment, what of I did not know. Then he turned and left. I watched him until he turned the corner and then closed my door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry for the slow updates. I have been busy with school, but now that I'm on break I hope to write some more.   
Also, this chapter may cause people to be uncomfortable with mentions of rape. Please be aware, and if it makes you uncomfortable just skip it :)
> 
> Please bear with me and my missing muse; she comes and goes on whims lol  
<3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On dhea’lam - Good evening
> 
> Eolas - Knowledge
> 
> Thu ane’ma - How are you?
> 
> Da’ean - Little Bird
> 
> ma fallon - my friend
> 
> Itha ma mah’vir dhea’lam - See you tomorrow evening

Opening my eyes to my fade space I smiled. Knowledge was sitting on my grandmother’s porch, waiting for me.

I waved, “Hello Knowledge! How are you?”

It smiled and said, “I have been well, youngling. Are you ready for more lessons?”

I nodded and was about to speak when I felt a pressure in my head.

Knowledge looked in the distance and spoke, “Ah. It looks like we have company. Can you feel it?”

I nodded, “Is is another spirit? How can I tell?”

“Spirits, like myself, have a certain signature within the fade. Each spirit has their own, but you are more often able to tell what it is. Compassion. Curiosity. Rage. Pride. Each spirit feels a certain way, depending on what they are. This pressure that you feel, however, is another person dreaming within the fade. They are harder to tell if they are malicious or not. People can mask who they are, although it is harder within the fade.”

I nodded, thinking, “So this pressure is someone asking permission to enter my space? If I give them permission, would they be allowed to enter every time, like you?”

Knowledge shook its head, “No, each night you enter or leave your dream space, you can choose to allow no one, or whomever you wish. It will be different depending on how you feel. If you wish for no on to enter without permission, no one will. You have granted me permission to enter, but when you wish me gone or enter your space not wanting me here, I will not be here.”

I smile, “So you’re here because I subconsciously let you?”

It nodded, “Just so.”

I felt that pressure again, “It’s almost like someone is knocking. I think I know who may be out there, but Knowledge, you must not let him know I know who he is.”

It smirked, “I will not share my knowledge of what you know without your permission. Come, let him enter and we shall see what he presents himself as, hmm?”

I laugh. Then with my thought of letting Solas enter, he is suddenly beside me.

“On dhea’lam Herald. How are you feeling?” Solas asked, his hands resting behind him.

I bowed my head in greeting, “Good evening Solas. I am well. As discussed, Knowledge is here with us. Knowledge, Solas.”

Solas, looking excited, greeted, “On dhea’lam Eolas. Thu ane’ma?” 

Knowledge spoke with amusement, “Greetings Solas. I am well. What brings you here to Da’ean’s space?”

Solas, now looking studious, replied, “I am to help her understand magic. Are you to help as well?”

Knowledge replied, “Yes. I am to help her here in the fade. Da’ean, are you ready for more lessons, or shall we converse on the morrow since you have a guest?”

I gave Knowledge a knowing look, “Tomorrow ma fallon. Itha ma mah’vir dhea’lam.” 

Without a goodbye, Knowledge left. If Solas thought anything about my use of elven he stayed silent while he looked around my dream space. We slowly started to walk together, and after we came upon the stream I sat on a boulder and beckoned him to sit next to me. After getting comfortable I lightly touched his shoulder and asked, “So, Solas. How are you this night?”

He looked over at me, startled at my touch, and replied, “Ah, I am well.” I released him from my touch, and he continued, “What would you like to know?”

I smiled, laughing to myself at his evasion and asked, “Well, Knowledge said I am a Dreamer; an erelan. I believe you are one as well?” He nodded. “Then my question is this, was it easy for you? Magic seems to come easy for me. Natural. Like I’ve always done it; and trust me when I say, I have not always had it. Upon opening my eyes I have gained both my voice and my magic.”

He looked thoughtful, probably not wanting to give away too much, “What do you remember about your old life?”

I gazed at him, wondering if he would always be this tiresome with his evasive answers and huffed, “I would have you answer first, Solas.”

He looked at me, his face giving nothing away, “I come from a village in the north. There was nothing there to really interest a young man, especially one gifted with magic. But as I slept, spirits of the Fade showed me glimpses of wonders I would have never imagined. I treasure my dreams. Being awake, out of the Fade, had become troublesome. Magic was, and still is, the same as breathing. So to answer your question, yes. Magic has always come easy to me.”

I nodded, saddened that he gave me his usual spiel, and let out a sigh, “Solas. This is… difficult for me. I am…” I was trying not to give too much away, “different.”

Solas looks at me with interest and I continued, “I am…” What could I say? “not from – “His face continued to give nothing away, but his eyes. Oh his eyes studied me in depth. When suddenly I felt a tug. Something was happening. I was waking up, but this was not normal. Something was wrong. I looked at Solas with fear, clutching on to his sleeve.

Solas noticed my distress and said, “Da’lan? What is it? What is wrong?”

“Solas! Something is wrong! Something's here with me!” I knew I couldn’t resist waking up soon. Whatever it was it was not good. I needed to wake up.

Solas looked around and answered, “Nothing is here but us – “

“**No** Solas! Someone or something is here with _me!_ I need to wake up. Help – “But it was too late. I woke up with a start. It was disorienting. I couldn’t move. Why couldn't I move? I looked at my wrists and realized that I was tied down. Oh my god what was happening?

“‘Bout time you woke up, little bitch.”

I looked over and saw someone in the shadows. It was the man from the other night. How did he get in?

“Heh. It’s a good thing you can’t talk, eh? But its too bad. I like m’ girls to scream.”

I needed to calm down. The last thing I needed was to burn down my cabin in fight. Solas would come. I just had to trust in him. I stayed silent.

“You know, I should o’ had you th’ other night. You were so scrumptious. But tha’ red-haired cunt ‘as people on you now. Heh. But ‘ey, everyone’s gotta eat right? And who watches windows anymore? Fuck, you look good tied up.” He came closer and took my breast in his hand. Hard. I felt like I was going to throw up, “I’m gonna ‘ave my time with you. Savor you.”

He was unbuttoning my blouse now. What could I do? Solas wasn’t here. No one was here. I couldn’t go through this again. I wouldn’t.

I was just about to say something when I heard a knock then the sweetest voice I have ever heard, “Herald. Are you awake?” I stayed silent, knowing that he would come in, “Can you come to the door? I had something I needed to discuss with you; it is of the upmost importance.”

The bastard still had his hands all over me, and he pulled out his knife, “Don’t say a word luv, or I’ll cut yer throat.” Did he not remember that I wasn’t supposed to be able to speak?

Another knock, “Da’lan, I am coming in.”

The door opened and Solas stepped in. He took in the scene with amazing calm. Never taking his eyes off mine. I could see fire there. Waiting.

“It seems,” Solas calmly stated, “That there is a problem. Get your hands off the Herald, and you’ll live.” The fire was burning. I could see Solas’s eyes in the dark. They glowed.

“Yer havin me off! Yer kill me eitha way, fucking knife ear! Close th’ door, or I’ll kill er’!” The man held me tighter, the knife digging into my throat. I felt my blood trickle down.

I had to do something. I could feel the magic in the air. The sizzle of barely restrained rage. Both mine and Solas’. After Solas closed the door I finally whispered, “You’ll die either way.”

The man stiffened, “You can talk?” Solas took a step toward me and the man turned his attention back on him, “Move one more step knife ear. I’ll slit ‘er throat, I will.”

Solas stopped, his eyes meeting mine, and I whispered, “Solas. It’s okay.” I could see his incredulity. His nostrils flared and his breathing became erratic.

“Da’ean,” he whispered, almost pleading.

I looked in his eyes and smiled, then I whispered to the man who held me, “Men like you shouldn’t exist.”

The knife went a little deeper, “Wha’? What did you say you cunt?”

I took a calming breath, thinking of Medusa. How she could turn men to stone by looking at them. How she was betrayed by her gods for something that she had no choice in. I felt her pain. I felt her vengeance. I was going to take it. I spoke louder, “Men like you shouldn’t exist.”

The man was angry now, and turned me to face him, looking me in the eye. Good, “You bitch. I’ll – “

But it was too late. As his eyes met mine my magic filled the cabin. I could tell when he first felt my magic. His eyes got wide and the knife clattered to the ground. I burned the ropes on my wrists, got off the bed, stepped back and whispered, never taking my eyes off the man, “Men like you should learn when no means no.” Within moments, he was turned into stone. His face forever a mask of horror.

“Da’ean…“Solas whispered. I looked over at him and there was both awe and fear in his gaze. Fear of what, I could not say. Of me? For me? 

“Solas.” I answered, “He won’t hurt anyone else again.”

Solas slowly stepped toward me, like one would a cornered animal and held out his hand, “Come. We must let your advisers know of what happened.”

I looked at Solas and asked, “You think it wise to let them know of this magic? Cullen would not take it well, nor Cassandra. Solas, we both know what this magic will be seen as. This is not normal. I am not normal.”

Solas looked over at the statue, then back into my eyes, “It matters not. He was going to- “

“Rape me,” I interrupted him, my rage coming back, “He was going to _rape_ me Solas. I refuse to go through that.” The word again was not said, but I could see he understood, “I will never submit Solas, and I’ll kill anyone who dares touch what is not theirs. He would have been slapped on the wrist. It would have been his word against mine. He would have won.”

Solas shut his eyes, looking sadly resolute, “It is true. Our kind has fallen so low.” He said _our_ kind. Curious. “But, no one expects you to do nothing; someone is bound to notice… him.”

I looked over at the statue and touched it lightly; thinking about disintegration and lasers. After a couple of seconds there was just a pile of dust. I looked back at Solas and watched as his face became entranced with me once more, “Solas. No one can know.”

Solas and I stood quietly in the cabin. Both contemplating the other when he stepped closer again, “It is not my place to tell.”

I stepped slowly into his arms, and he held me. He was warm. He was real. For the first time since waking up I felt peace. I looked up into his blue eyes. They were so beautiful. I slowly reached to touch his face and whispered, “Will you stay with me tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”

I could feel him stiffen, then relax, “I will stay.” He hid behind his faceless mask once more, “But first, let me assess you. Do you have any injuries?”

I pulled away, and reached for my neck, “Here. It is minor, but I would be grateful for the help.” I felt his cool magic dance over my skin and the relief was instantaneous. I sighed in pleasure, “Thank you Solas.”

He looked into my eyes and asked, “Are there any others?”

I could feel the tips of my ears burn, and I answered, “None that time won’t heal. I will be fine.”

He was silent for a moment, his burning eyes betraying the rest of his face, then sighed in frustration, “If you are still injured Herald- “

I put my finger on his mouth, stunning him into silence, “Shush. You know I have a name? He touched me Solas. But there is only bruising. Nothing time won’t fix.”

I could see the fire in his eyes. The rage. I felt his heat. Slowly he removed my hand from his mouth, and said, “Come. Let us retire for the evening.”

We went back over to the bed, and once I got comfortable, he brought a chair to sit, “Solas. What are you doing?”

I could tell my question startled him, “I am getting ready to rest.”

I pulled him towards me, “In the bed Solas.” I laughed when I saw his terrified face, “I won’t bite. Solas, I just want to be held. I want to feel safe. You make me feel protected. Please, lay with me.”

I could see when he stopped struggling. He sighed and slowly laid down next to me, “Get some rest da’lan. We need to go over what you know of magic and how to handle it properly.”

I smiled, snuggling closer toward his warmth, “Solas, you don’t think I can handle magic?”

He was still tense, but the less I moved the more relaxed he became, “It is not that. I believe that you show an affinity for magic that none has seen since the time of Arlathan. The problem is that you have no way of controlling it and I do not want templars to become agitated. Nor other mages for that matter.”

I loved his smell. The elfroot, old book, and a slight bit of his cool magic. It was a heady combination. I wonder, could everyone smell magic? Just mages?

“Solas,” I said, “I can smell your magic. Sense it’s presence. Is that normal?”

He was quiet; tense. I could tell he was considering whether or not to tell me the truth, “Not many can sense magic like you can. Templars, for instance, can tell a mage from a non-mage by sensing that the fade surrounding them is different. The fade interacts differently with each person, but it will be noticeably different for mages.”

That brought on more questions, “Then how can one escape a templar and hide if the fade lets them know what they are?”

“There are ways to hide yourself. Myself, for instance, I can warp the fade to make it look like I am non-magical. There are also high magical glamour spells, masking your presence, but those cost quite a bit of mana. Most are incapable of interacting with the fade, as the Circle teaching does not condone the study of it.”

I was quiet for a moment, “I know that everyone within our circle knows I am a mage, but can you teach me to mask myself anyway?”

“Of course. It is a skill worth having, in times such as these.” He was quiet for a moment, then asked, “You said that you could smell my magic?”

I chuckled, “Yes. Your magic smells cool. Like fresh ice. With a hint of mint. It’s very nice. Soothing.”

He was silent for another few moments, then said, “Have you noticed any other abnormalities?” This time, it was I that was silent, contemplating whether I should say something or not. He continued anyway, “We were discussing something of importance in the fade. Would you care to answer now?”

I sighed, knowing that I had to give him something, “Solas, I am different.”

“We already went over that you are different. Your magic is extraordinary and your indomitable focus when regards to your perception of magic is an enjoyable side benefit.”

I could feel my ears getting hot, and I smiled. I couldn’t resist, “Indomitable focus?”

I could hear his smile when he spoke, “Presumably. I have yet to see it dominated. I imagine the site would be… fascinating.”

I crept my hand slowly up his arm, and deliberately went across his chest; resting it on his wolf jaw necklace, “Hmm. Well, I imagine that soon you’ll get to see my focus in action. Although,” I could feel his tension and leaned up toward his ear and whispered, “I feel that to dominate it would be difficult. Goodnight Solas.”

I felt his shiver before he spoke, “What is your name?”

Surprised for once, I answered, “Da’ean is not to your liking?”

He chuckled and said, “Eolas gave you that name I suppose?”

I nodded.

“Then that is what you wished to be called?” he asked.

“What? You mean Herald isn’t enough?” I said sarcastically. His snort was enough answer. “Do you really wish to know Solas?”

“Names have power, da’lan." He said, “If you do not wish to give voice to your name you do not have to.”

“Solas, if you wished to have power over me you should have said so.” His startled laugh was beautiful. When he finally quieted, I whispered, “Grace. My name is Grace.”

He put his arm hesitantly around me, pulling me closer, “Thank you.”

I closed my eyes, getting comfortable, and replied, “You’re Welcome.” The last thought I had before the Fade shaped my world was how warm he felt.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has some mature content, so if you don't like that just skip it :)  
Thanks for sticking with me!  
<3

Waking up, I was warm. Warmer than I usually was. Knowledge spent most of the night with me and helped me to learn how to control my emotions better. Apparently, what they said about out of control emotions equals out of control magic in the game was true. I’ve always been a little hot-headed; going headfirst into any situation, so this was a problem.

Upon opening my eyes, it was then I remembered last night. I tensed, then realized that it was Solas that had his arm around my waist. I tried moving slowly, but he just wrapped me up tighter. Should I just lay here, or try and wake him, up?

My question was answered when he brought me even closer and was breathing on my neck. It felt too good, and knowing Solas and his ways, he had no clue that he was doing this. He would be mortified. So I quietly said, “Solas.”

There was no answer, just a groan as he held me and nuzzled near my ear.

“Solas,” I almost whimpered as he breathed on my ear, “You need to wake up now.” I could feel the moment he awoke. His body tensed and he stopped breathing. “Solas, are you awake now?” I needed him to leave. I was so sensitive that I needed some relief.

He slowly unwound himself from me and when I turned over to face him his ears were dark red and I could see it tinting his cheeks, “My apologies Grace. It has been… a long time since I have slept with anyone other than myself.”

I smiled and replied, “Solas, I like cuddling. In fact, touching reduces stress, anxiety and depression. So you fixed me right up from last night. I feel better today. Thank you.”

He got up and made a face, “There will be talk. It is well into the morning and I am coming out of your cabin. I apologize. This was not my intent.”

I sat up in bed and stretched, noticing he was watching me intently, “Solas, there are going to be rumors regardless. I’m famous now. I honestly don’t care. It wouldn’t be the first time, and this certainly won’t be the last either.”

He hummed in acceptance then made his way toward the door, face still a little red, “Then we shall get started on your magical training today. I shall be back to collect you within the hour.”

After the door closed, I fell atop my bed and sighed. I was wound tight. Waking up with his arms wrapped around me, his breath on my now sensitive ears, and hearing that groan; I needed some release.

I slowly reached down and started unlacing my breaches. Closing my eyes and breathing in his scent from the pillow he used last night I touched myself. Slowly at first, teasing. I wanted this to last. I was so wet. My underclothes were drenched with my juices; and I was so sensitive. I could smell my heat. It was different from when I was a human. More potent. But sweeter. I slowly dipped into my heat and groaned. That felt so good. My other hand went toward my breast and I pinched my nipple through the cotton shirt. I didn’t even realize that it was partially open from last night. Was that why Solas was staring? A girl could dream. God this felt too good. I wasn’t going to last; I knew this now. Breathing in his scent deeply one last time I felt myself burst. My vision went white, my body taught, and pleasure like I have never felt before took over my senses.

It took me a moment to gather my wits, but I could feel my tension release and I felt good. So good. I only had a little while to get ready now, so I quickly got up, put on some different clothes, washed my face and private parts from the basin of water, and braided my hair.

Upon hearing a knock at the door I swiftly opened it. There stood Solas. After but a moment he seemed tense. Too tense. He looked at anywhere but at me. What could be wrong?

I beckoned him inside, shut the door, and asked, “Solas. You seem tense. Is everything alright?” I could see him trying to relax, so I hurried on saying, “Is it the people? Were they giving you any trouble coming from my cabin earlier?”

“No,” he all but spit out.

I slowly nodded, then said, “Come,” I could feel his magic all but bursting, his nostrils flaring, and said quickly, “We should get some training in today. I have talked with Knowledge, but again, I would like to practice what we have went over.”

As we made our way through Haven, I could feel the stares and hear the whispers. But it didn’t seem more than usual. Interesting. Also, the further away we got from my cabin the more relaxed Solas got. Maybe he was embarrassed about this morning?

Arriving near the lake, Solas said, “This afternoon we are going to go over what we have read previously, as well as go over what Eolas has helped you with in the Fade. Furthermore, we shall test you to see what affinity of magic you prefer. I believe I have an idea, but it would be best to know for sure.”

Well, he sure was scholarly this morning, “As you wish, Solas.”

“Let us begin with the test for your magic. Come, put your hands in mine and close your eyes. Like when I fist taught you to feel for your magic.”

I smiled and did what he asked.

“Now I am going to look through your magical aura. I would like you to tell me when you feel something, and what you feel when you do. Are you prepared?”

I nodded, then waited to feel something. Right away I felt a presence, so I said, “I feel something Solas.”

I could almost hear his surprise when he asked me, “And what is it you feel?”

I thought about it a moment then said, “I just feel you? Um, how to explain. Its like how I can smell your magic. I just know that you are there? Almost like when I felt you prodding in the fade, asking permission to enter my space. Knowledge said that every spirit had a particular essence. And every dreamer also had a signature. I felt yours and remembered.”

I could hear his pride coming through, “Excellent. Now, I am going to keep going. Let me know when you feel something different.”

It was a few moments, but suddenly I felt a burst of color behind my eyes and I gasped, “There!”

“What is it you feel?” Solas asked calmly.

The color was bright; and so beautiful, “It’s not so much that I feel anything Solas, but more like I can see a color. It’s so beautiful.”

“What color do you see?”

“Mostly red, but there are hints of orange and yellow as well… and some blue… white? Interesting. It all blends so beautifully Solas.” I almost wanted to cry. Magic was so beautiful.

“Okay. I am now going to be trying some other methods. Let me know when you sense anything.”

It took but a second before I felt it. The pull of the fade, “Solas. It’s the same!” I opened my eyes to see him looked shocked.

“What is it Grace?” He asked.

I was in awe, “It’s the fade, Solas. When I first closed the rifts, I felt the fade. How it wrapped around me, you, everything. It wanted me… and I wanted it back. I could feel everything and anything. It was… awe-inspiring. Terrifying. Amazing. I haven’t felt anything like it before.”

He just stood there, shock on his face, clutching my hands.

“Solas,” I asked, “What did you just do?”

He shook his head, then calmly stated, “The first thing I did was to test your sensitivity to anything magical, which was my presence you felt. Next, I did a minor spell to test what school of magic would work best for you. Both Fire and Creation seem to be your strong suits. Interesting, one does great damage and the other repairs the damage caused. The last test that I performed was one for my own personal gain.”

When he did not elaborate, I squeezed his hands and asked, no, pleaded, “Solas. What was it?”

He closed his eyes, took a breath then looked right at me. His blue eyes both sad and amazed, “I tested to see if you had any affinity with rift magic; much like myself. I have met no others like myself in a long time.” He then looked calculating, “The anchor. Has it affected you? Changed you in any way? Your mind, your morals, your... spirit?”

This surprised me, considering the was a romance scene within the game. I didn’t think he thought of me to that extent. I was an elf, sure. But not Dalish. Or, was that in my favor? Either way, he seemed to be waiting for my answer, “Would I know if had Solas? All I know is that the anchor has changed my life. Whether the anchor has changed _me_ well,” I looked in his eyes, knowingly, “Who can say?”

He did not take his eyes off me, “You are not what I expected.”

I chuckled, “You make that sound bad, Solas.”

He chuckled, “That was not my intent.” He let go of my hands and stepped back, “I sat beside you while you slept, studying the anchor. You were a mystery, “He looks back over at me, “You still are.”

I smiled sadly, “Well, you have but to ask Solas. I might not have the answers that you seek, though.”

He gave me a sly smirk, “Come, lethalan. Let us practice what Eolas has shown you in the fade.”

It was several hours later I fell back into the snow, gasping for air, “Solas… you…are…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence. I was so out of shape; even in this body.

But oh my was it gratifying to see his laugh, “Knowledge has taught you well, Grace. I can now report to Cassandra that we may be able to leave earlier than expected.”

As I got up and walked over toward him, I whispered, “Solas, I still need practice, and I have never…”

He nodded in acceptance and said, “You have not killed.” It was a statement.

I looked down, ashamed and a little frightened, “No Solas. I have not. I understand that death is a part of life. I know that when it comes down to it, it is either me or them. But I cannot say that I am not frightened. Frightened of killing, but of also frightened of getting used to it.”

He stepped closer to me, his hand reaching out and softly grasping my jaw and lifting it upwards. His eyes held all the mysteries of life and the sadness of death, “Death is imminent. But it is in life that we choose how we behave and react. It is a good thing that you fear killing. Your soul is so pure. Please, never change that.”

I closed my eyes, and I felt a small tear escape. I then sighed and stepped back, “Are you hungry Solas?” At his nod we both turned toward Haven. “Then let us get some refreshments. We can also stop by the Chantry and let Cassandra and Leliana know of how I am progressing.”

Before we went into the gates I was stopped by Cullen, “Herald, if I may have a moment of your time?”

I looked over at Solas, who nodded and stepped away to give us some privacy. Although, knowing his elven hearing, he would probably hear everything that was said anyway.

Looking over at the handsome Commander, I nodded.

He put his hand behind his neck, betraying his nervousness, “Herald. It has come to my attention about a soldier who has treated you inappropriately.”

I felt cold and numb all of a sudden. Did they know what I did? “What of him?” I whispered. I sounded weird.

Cullen blushed a bit, “I wanted to apologize for his behaviors. We don’t stand for that type of behavior in the inquisition. He was relieved of his duty right after we heard about the incident. Seeing as he hasn’t shown up since, I believe that the matter has been resolved. I hope that, in future, you come to us if you come across any more incident like this in future.”

I could breathe again. I smiled and patted his bicep in a motherly manner.

He blushed even further, “Herald. I will let you go about your day.”

I patted him one more time then hurried over toward Solas. I looked at him and although he seemed to give nothing away his eyes seemed a bit concerned. I took his arm and he accepted; leading me toward the tavern.

“Violet! Chuckles!” Varric yelled over the noise, “How was your day?”

“It went well Mater Tethras. The Herald has made significant progress in her magical studies. She shows much promise.” Solas almost sounded smug. Proud bastard.

I chortled and smiled at Varric. Giving him a big hug.

Once we got our food Varric said, “Well that’s great Violet. So does that mean we are leaving sooner than planned?”

Solas and I both nodded. Solas continued, “We are going to discuss with the Seeker and Mistress Leliana about possibly heading out posthaste.”

I nodded enthusiastically and whispered in Varric’s ear, “I want to help.”

Varric pats me on the head in a fatherly way and says, “Of course you do Vi. You seriously have a heart of gold. Chuckles, we need to make sure no one takes advantage of that” I could tell that Varric meant it seriously, although he tried to play it off as a joke.

Solas nodded just as seriously, “Of course. Her being the only one able to close the Breach is too important.”

Hearing those words, I was stunned. Is that all they thought of me as? I was disappointed. I thought after last night… but I guess I should have known. Solas is the Dread Wolf. A lone wolf. Nothing will change that. The game showed me that. Poor Levellan.

I finished my food quickly and grabbed Varric’s sleeve. He looked at me and I nodded my head towards the chantry.

“You want me to go with you Vi?” Varric asked.

I nodded, ignoring Solas.

He must have seen something in my face because he got up and said, “Why don’t we all go? I need to hear what we’re doing in the Hinterlands anyways.”

As we made our way to the Chantry, I held on the Varric. I couldn’t look at Solas. I didn’t think I could be my usual self around him just yet.

Cassandra and Leliana we at the war table when we got there. I smiled and once the door was shut said, “We have some news.”

I finally looked over at Solas, trying to make my face impassive. He looked back at me then to Leliana when he spoke, “The Herald has made significant progress in her studies. After today, I believe we only need two to three more days before she is ready to head out.”

Cassandra smiled and said, “That is good news. I am glad that you are getting better Herald.”

I smiled back at her then said, “I would like to leave in two days’ time. That should give us plenty of time to get some gear together and supplies.”

Everyone nodded and I left the war room with Varric and Solas, making my way toward my cabin.

“Herald,” Solas said, “I would like to go over what we will be doing the next few days.”

I looked over at Solas, and then Varric. I nodded then quickly gave Varric a hug and whispered, “I’ll see you tomorrow Varric.”

He winked at me and smirked, “Sure thing Vi. Remember to lock your door.”

I nodded then headed inside, motioning Solas inside. As I closed the door I asked, “So what is the itinerary?” I sat on my bed and started to take my shoes off. When he didn’t answer I finally looked up. He was tense again. What was his problem? “Solas, are you sure you’re okay?”

After a moment, he said, “I am fine.”

I gave him an incredulous look and said, “You don’t look fine. Is it because of this morning?”

He gave me a sharp look, “What?”

I was taken aback by his demeanor, “Well. You were very, uh, touchy this morning before you woke up.” I could see the tension leaving him with that statement.

“I must confess. It was very… different; waking up next to someone. I was, am, not sure how to go about our relationship.” Solas looked pretty uncomfortable, and the tips of his ears were red. And the word relationship bothered me somewhat. What relationship? Working? Personal?

I smiled at him wryly, “Solas. It’s okay to be uncomfortable waking up next to someone you don’t know while basically strangling them.” His startled laugh was a good sign. I continued, “I want us to be friends Solas. That means that we talk to each other. Laugh with each other. Cry with each other. Even be awkward with each other.”

He stared at me, a mix of awe and something else in his eyes, “I will take what you said under advisement.”

As he opened the door, I stopped him and whispered near his ear, “How was my focus today?”

He gave a startled chuckle, his ears once again turning red, and said, “Hmm. It was… fascinating to watch.”

I smiled wide and said, “Goodnight Solas.”

He went through the threshold and said seriously, “Don’t forget to ward. Both the door and windows.”

I nodded and watched as he disappeared in the night. Heading back into my cabin, I could feel his absence. It was only one night, but I knew that I would miss his presence forever more.

Falling asleep took longer. I could still smell the faint hint of him left behind on the pillow he used. My last thought before entering the Fade was of his warmth.

~~~~~~~

Entering my Fade space I met with Knowledge. I gave him a hug and said, “Good evening. I missed you. How was your time in the fade?”

“It was typical. Have there been any more incident since our prior time in the fade?”

I shook my head, “No. There have been none. I made sure to ward both the door and the window. I even used wards around my bed as well. I don’t ever want to wake up in that position again.” I shuddered.

Knowledge nodded, “Just so. You have gotten fair about using defense magic, and your healing is adequate. How about tonight we begin some combat magic? We have gone over the theories but have yet to do any practical exercise.”

Time in the fade is relative. We could have been going at it for hours, or just minutes, but I soon felt another presence at the edge of my space. It was very similar, but also different. More powerful. I knew that whatever was out there didn’t really need my permission to enter my space. The Dread Wolf was making his appearance.

“Knowledge,” the spirit immediately appeared near me, “I believe we have another visitor. Would you please give us some privacy? Just in case this goes south… I want you safe, my friend.”

Knowledge merely looked at me for a moment, the nodded and disappeared. I took a deep breath and opened my mind. It was faint, but I could see his shadow at the edge of my dream; slowly coming forward.

I just sat there, near my stream humming a song I remember. As he came closer, I started singing softly:

_I am not a stranger to the dark_

_Hide away, they say_

_'Cause we don't want your broken parts_

_I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars_

_Run away, they say_

_No one'll love you as you are_

_But I won't let them break me down to dust_

_I know that there's a place for us_

_For we are glorious_

_When the sharpest words wanna cut me down_

_I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out_

_I am brave, I am bruised_

_I am who I'm meant to be, this is me_

_Look out 'cause here I come_

_And I'm marching on to the beat I drum_

_I'm not scared to be seen_

_I make no apologies, this is me_

_Oh~~~~_

I could see him gradually getting closer; coming toward the boulder where we sat previously. I smiled and continued.

_Another round of bullets hits my skin_

_Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in_

_We are bursting through the barricades and_

_Reaching for the sun (we are warriors)_

_Yeah, that's what we've become (yeah, that's what we've become)_

_I won't let them break me down to dust_

_I know that there's a place for us_

_For we are glorious_

_When the sharpest words wanna cut me down_

_I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out_

_I am brave, I am bruised_

_I am who I'm meant to be, this is me_

_Look out 'cause here I come_

_And I'm marching on to the beat I drum_

_I'm not scared to be seen_

_I make no apologies, this is me_

_Oh~~~~_

He was now only a few feet from me, and I looked over at him and patted the spot next to me and continued.

_and I know that I deserve your love_

_'cause there's nothing I'm not worthy of_

_When the sharpest words wanna cut me down_

_I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out_

_This is brave, this is proof_

_This is who I'm meant to be, this is me_

_Look out 'cause here I come (look out 'cause here I come)_

_And I'm marching on to the beat I drum (marching on, marching, marching on)_

_I'm not scared to be seen_

_I make no apologies, this is me_

_When the sharpest words wanna cut me down_

_I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out_

_I'm gonna send a flood_

_Gonna drown them out_

_Oh_

_This is me_

It was quiet for a moment and then I heard his great rumble, “You do not fear me. Do you know who I am?”

I decided to ignore his question with one of my own, “Can I pet you?” I could tell I startled him, and I laughed, “I’m sorry, Mr. Wolf, but your pelt looks so soft. I’ve never had a dog before.”

He huffed in indignation, “I am **not** a dog.” We were both quiet while he contemplated my request. He finally laid down and sighed, “You may… touch me.”

I smiled in joy and I immediately began. He was so soft. And he smelled like my Solas; if not a bit more woodsy. I sighed in contentment.

“That song you were singing, I have not heard it before.” His rumble vibrated through me.

I hummed in acknowledgement, “I see.” I looked over at him, still petting him on his head, “Mr. Wolf, how are this evening?”

His head came up and he looked at me with old tired eyed, “You won’t answer my questions, will you da’lan?”

I chuckled thinking of my answer to Solas’s questions earlier and said, “Well, you may ask, but I might not have the answers that you seek, though.”

He chuckled, then asked, “You are not Dalish, are you from the city?”

I smiled at him, and kept on petting his head affectionately, “Why do you ask? Is it because you don’t understand why I hold no fear of you?”

He perked up at that, “It is more than that. You are a mystery. You spirit is so bright here, in the fade. There are several spirits on the edge of your dreams. You hold much power here, where none in this time have any knowledge.”

I hummed in acknowledgement, “You wish to know how I cam to have an understanding of the fade and to see who I am in relation to other elves?” I look right at his eyes and smile warmly, “My introduction to the fade was through a spirit of Knowledge. He has been helping me understand my powers both in and out of the Fade. As for who I am… I am neither, Dread Wolf.”

I could feel him tense, but he stayed silent. I continued, “I am alone, here in a world that is both new and terrifying. My people… are no more.” I could feel the tears upon my cheeks but kept going, knowing that I had to explain to him what happened. “I have no friends. No family. Nothing. I don’t know how I came to be here, but here I am.”

He was quiet then whispered, “Who are you da’lan?”

I closed my eyes, smiled sadly and said, “I am Grace. Nice to meet you, Mr. Wolf.” I continued to pet him silently.

“And I you, Grace.” We spent the rest of the evening in the Fade, silent and appreciative of each other’s company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Edited to add:
> 
> I forgot to let you all know what song this was :)
> 
> This Is Me - The Greatest Showman


	6. Chapter 6

Waking up from the Fade was gradual this morning, Solas’s smell was now completely gone form the pillow, which made me sad. I was lying in bed, trying to wake up completely when there was a knock on my door. Curious, I waited until I heard someone knock again.

“Herald.” It was Cullen. Interesting. Why was he here so early? “Herald, are you awake?”

Sighing, I got out of bed, not caring to put anything more on than my night clothes and opened the door. Cullen stood there, looking both nervous and imposing at the same time. I could just see the sun gracing our presence over the horizon, and the rays hit Cullen’s hair creating a golden halo. I smiled and motioned him inside.

“Oh, Herald, I- “Cullen started, but I interrupted him by taking his arm and pulling him inside. He just stood there after the door closed looking more red by the second.

I giggled and said quietly, “It was cold Commander.” He just stood there silently, blushing and rubbing his neck in discomfort. I decided to put him out of his misery and asked, “What can I help you with Commander?”

Still rubbing his neck he said, “Well, Leliana told me about having you be escorted around Haven. Since that soldier we have been doubling our efforts. This morning, while the recruits are getting their meal, I thought to escort you to the tavern.”

I smiled and nodded, “I thank you. It helps to know that I have advisors so helpful and willing to listen. Can you give me a moment to get ready? I wasn’t prepared to get ready so early.”

He nodded, “Of course, Herald.”

He turned to head out when I said, “Commander, you don’t have to go out. There is a dressing screen. I’m sure it’s cold out there.”

As I got my clothes together, he tried and sputtered, “H- Herald. I appreciate the concern but...”

I shook my head, “Nonsense. Just stay there. I’ll be but a moment.”

He kept quiet as I made my way behind the screen. While taking off my nightgown I said, “So Commander, how is our troops progress going?”

There was silence; then he said, “They are doing well so far. Most are pretty green but I’m sure that we can get them where we need to in time.”

“Excellent,” I said, putting on my breeches, “And how are you doing?”

More silence, “I am fine.”

Just as I was about to put on my shirt, I hear another knock on the door. Why was everyone coming here suddenly? “Commander, would you get that please?”

“Of course,” I heard. Then the door opened, and Cullen said, “Solas.”

There was more silence, and then, “Commander.”

More silence as I finished up and then stepped out behind the screen. Cullen and Solas were standing by my door, wide open, glaring at each other. Well. This was interesting.

“Would either of you mind closing the door?” I asked in annoyance, “You’re letting all the cold in.”

Solas stepped inside and before Cullen shut the door said, “Commander. I’m sure you’re busy. I will see to the Herald this morning.”

Cullen turned red, the said stiffly, “Yes. Quite.” He then turned to me with a soft smile and said, “Herald, let me know if I can be of assistance in future.” Then he bowed and left.

Solas closed the door and looked at me; his face again a careful mask. I raised my brow and said, “Well. This has been a busy morning.”

Solas raised his brow in answer and said, “Quite.” He look slightly irritated, but I decided not to push. I did just spend all evening with him.

Once I got my shoes and coat on, I turned toward him and said, “Tavern?”

He nodded and off we went. The tavern this morning was full of recruits, but no Commander. I would need to talk to Cassandra to make sure he was eating properly. Once we got our food Solas positioned me in a corner, with him next to me. I again looked at him with a brow raised and then smiled, patting his face softly. His eyes softened a little and we then started to eat.

Halfway through eating, I saw Varric stumbling his way through and take a seat next to Solas, mumbling irritably, “Morning Vi, Chuckles.”

Solas dipped his head and I smiled, waving my hand in greeting.

Varric looked at me, then Solas and said, “You know Solas, I just saw Curly make his way through Haven like a mad mabari hound. You haven’t heard anything about that, have you?”

Damn. Varric was good. But Solas was better. He just shrugged noncommittedly and said calmly, “I have no idea to what you are referring to, Master Tethras.”

I was silently laughing while Varric narrowed his eyes at him. Then he smirked and said, “Sure thing Chuckles.” He looked over at me and wiggled his eyebrows, “What about you Vi? Anything to add?”

I smiled sweetly to him and shrugged my shoulders.

Varric laughed and grumbled good-naturedly, “You two are made for each other.”

I blushed and noticed that Solas’s ears turned pink. Once we were done eating Solas and I made our way to the Chantry. At its doors I stopped, looked around, and then said quietly, “I would like to talk to Cassandra briefly for a few moments. Are you chaperoning me, or can I meet you at your cabin when I’m done?”

Solas smiled, and said, “I will go in with you. I need to check the library for some books that I have requested. I shall see you when you’re done.”

I nodded and we both made our way inside. Heading toward the war room, knowing that Cassandra would be here this early, I made my way inside.

Cassandra looked up from the map and said, “Herald. It is good to see you this morning. How are you feeling?”

I smiled and said, “I am well. I think I am ready to depart tomorrow if we have everything ready by then.”

She nodded and smiled briefly, “That is good.” She is silent and then she sighs, “Did I do the right thing?” I was quiet. Knowing that she had more to say. “One day, they may write about me as a traitor, a madwoman, a fool. And they may be right. I cannot afford to be so careless again.”

I get close to her and put my hand on her arm, “Cassandra. You had cause. No one expects you to be perfect.” I smile wryly and say, “Besides, it's too late to turn back. The only thing we can do is learn from our mistakes and move forward.”

Cassandra gives me a sad smile and says, “You may be right. But enough about me, Herald, was there something I could help you with?”

I turned serious and said, “It’s about the Commander. He approached me this morning. He looked so tired Cassandra. Is he alright?” I, of course, knew what was going on, but I needed to hear it from them first.

Cassandra sighed, “It is not my place to tell Herald. But I will promise to keep an eye on him.”

I smiled and nodded, “That is all I ask. Thank you, Cassandra. You are a good person.”

She blushed prettily and stammered, “T- Thank you, Herald.”

I smiled and waved on my way out. I spotted Solas by the door and smiled at him, taking his offered arm.

“I take it your business has been concluded with the Seeker?” he asked before stopping by his cabin.

I nod and we make our way to his cabin. Inside I was once again assaulted by his smell; books, elfroot, and just him. I casually made my way over toward his bed and sat down, looking at him expectantly.

His ears were a lovely shade of pink, and he coughed before saying, “Today, I think we should go over combatant magical theory, then test it out to make sure the theories stick.”

She nodded her head, saying “Knowledge has been helping me with that in the fade, but I would still like to see what you would teach.” He nodded his head, and she continued, “I would also like to ask you something more, if I may.”

He was curious. I could tell. His face was impassive, but his eyes told all, “Of course.”

I could feel a slight blush coming on, “I would like to share our evening meal together,” I could see his eyes widen at the implication, “That is to say, I would like you to continue my reading lesson, and in return I would start your lessons in my language.”

He was quiet for a moment, probably trying to tell himself of his _din’anshiral_. Eventually I could see that knowledge won out, as I knew it would, “Of course. I would… like that.”

I smiled in victory, “Then let us go over my lesson so we may get to yours.”

After about an hour of his magical theory, we headed out towards our sparing area by the lake. I didn’t speak until we were well out of the range of hearing, “Solas, I have confirmed with Cassandra that we will be leaving tomorrow. I need to go to Harritt. Would you help me choose a staff? I’m afraid that I don’t know much.”

He nodded his head and said, “Of course, Grace.” We paused for a moment then he asked, “Are you prepared?”

I looked at him, and sighed, “As I’ll ever be. I don’t… I don’t know how I am going to do but all I can do is try.”

There was more silence then he said, “Come, let us see if we can put our theories to good use.”

I griped my borrowed staff and swallowed. I looked at him once more and smirked, “Bring it, hahren.”

His eyes flashed and the next thing I knew I could taste his magic before seeing it. It was an ice spell. Everything slowed down in this moment. I unconsciously brought up a fire barrier. The ice spikes melted before they hit, and I immediately fade stepped closer to him and wrote a paralyzing glyph. He countered with a glyph of his own, and I could taste it, knowing it was meant to shock me. I stepped to the side and wrapped the fade around me. It was exhilarating. New. I missed the connection I felt when closing the rifts; how close the fade was; how magic seeped into my pores. I could feel the veil and all the spirits watching. I could feel Knowledge and his approval. This was something Solas and I had not gone over, but I had to surprise him to even get a hit. Feeling the fade all around me I could sense his apprehension. I had surprised him. The Wolf. I felt a slight pride at that.

I got behind him and whispered, “Can you not find me hahren?”

He laughed in excitement, eyes alight and cheeks flushed, “Grace, how are you doing this?”

I unwrapped myself and said, “I wanted to hide. It’s like feeling the beyond the veil Solas. It’s… exhilarating. What is it called?”

Solas was flushed, his breathing almost irregular, “It is a spell used by rouges who wish to become unseen.” I thought about Cole a moment before he looked thoughtful and continued, “But what you did, I am unsure. You had no more essence. It was like you disappeared, even to my magical senses. Would you explain?”

Great. Another thing I did weird, “Well, I wanted to hide. You’re better at magic than me. I needed an edge. So I think the Fade… answered? Something like that?” He just looked at me expectantly and I sighed, “It is like magic just heeds my command. I could do it again and bring you with me. This way you could study it?”

In this moment, he was so happy. I could imagine a young Solas learning magic and I smiled. He nodded and I wrapped us within the Veil. I could see him with me, in here. Interesting.

He was awed. His eyes almost glowing, “You can feel...”

I nodded and smiled, “The Fade. You can feel it around us. In us. This is as close as I have gotten to the feeling of the breech and rifts. You can sense the spirits here. It’s almost like…”

He continued where I left off, “It’s almost like they are one.” He looked at me, his eyes holding tears and whispered, “It’s… wonderful.”

His smile died as a thought seemed to occur, “Is this taking up any of your mana?”

I thought about it, “No, I do not think so. It’s like, I created a pocket and we are hiding in it. I just used magic to create the pocket.

He nodded, looking deep in thought. We stayed here for a bit, then I said, “Are we done?”

He startled, then nodded. I unwrapped the veil from us then said, “Okay. At first, I was thinking my barriers were a one-time deal. Then I turn a man to stone… and now this. Solas, I’m frightened. I am too different. If any templars got ahold of me… or even mages…” I shivered.

I looked at Solas, his eyes hard as ice, “You will not be taken. I will do anything within my power to make it so.” He stepped closer, I could see his arm twitch, almost as if he wanted to reach for me, “You are special Grace.”

I smiled wryly, “How can we keep this between us? I might be in a situation that I would have no choice but to use my magic the way I have been. If word spreads…”

Solas looked thoughtful, “You said that you have recently become a mage, correct?”

I looked at him, trying to figure out where he was going with this. Was this a test? “I believe so, yes.”

He stepped closer to me, “And you are certain?”

I immediately became suspicious, “As far as I can recall. I honestly don’t remember much.” A half-truth, but a truth, nonetheless.

He hummed in acceptance, “Then we could blame it on your walk in the fade. It made you, different.”

I gave him an incredulous look, “Are you serious? You think that would work?”

He shrugged and gave me a smirk, “People hear what they want to hear. They’d see what they want to see. They won’t question their Herald.”

I snorted, “You, sir, are devious.”

He chortled, then held out his arm, “Harritt, then the tavern, then to my cabin for further study?”

I nodded. As we passed by the Commander and Cassandra, I gave them each a nod and a wave. Cassandra looked stressed, while Cullen looked pained. I hope that getting to the Hinterlands will help Cassandra, and that Cullen gets more sleep.

Harritt was just as I remembered. Nice but a little gruff. Like my grandfather. Solas told him the requirements of my new staff, and he assured me that it would be done before morning. I thanked him and soon I had all my gear set to go. We stopped by my cabin to drop off my stuff then headed toward the tavern.

After getting our meals we headed toward Solas’s Cabin. Stepping through, we settled our meals on his table, and both sat to eat. After we were done, I asked, “So. My reading lesson first? Then I can incorporate what I learn from you and teach it in my language?”

He nodded, “I believe that is best.”

For the next hour he taught me the alphabet, and their sounds, and I taught him the same. “This is fascinating,” he said when we took a break, “This language is one I have never heard.”

I shrugged, “Well, I’m glad that I can teach you something new. You seem to covet knowledge. I hope that you can visit me in the fade and talk to Knowledge.”

Solas nodded, “I may take you up on that. Spirits of Knowledge are rare. It’s interesting how that is the first spirit to approach you.”

I thought about it a moment, “Are there other rare spirits?”

He looked excited and immediately began a lecture about spirits and their individuality. It was another hour before I stifled a yawn.

Solas noticed and censured, “You should have told me you were tired, Grace.”

I laughed and said, “Solas. I’m not too tired to listen to your lectures.” At his slight blush I went on, “But you are right. I should have said something. We need to get enough sleep; especially since we start our journey tomorrow. Do you have everything you need?”

He nodded, then escorted me toward my cabin. I beckoned him inside, then started warding my window, and around my bed. I looked at him, and his brows were drawn. Strain evident on his face.

I stepped over toward him and gently laid my hand on his arm, “Solas. I am okay. I am just extra cautious now, is all.”

His face didn’t change, but he nodded, “Be sure to lock the door and ward there as well.” He stepped even closer. He surprised me by gently touching my cheek with the tips of his fingers, “How is your sleep?”

I could tell my wide eyes amused him, but I cleared my throat and answered, “Well. I have been warding everything, as you can see.” I could feel myself blush a bit, my ears getting hot, “You sleeping here that night honestly helped more than you know. It gave me a chance to think it through without the fear of being alone. I thank you, Solas.”

His lips twitched, “And your dreams?”

Ah. He was testing me. Two could play this game, “What about them Solas?”

“You have not come across any demons?” he asked.

I huffed, “Not that I can recall. Knowledge was a good teacher. Nothing can enter there without my explicit approval.”

I could almost see him preen, “I see.”

I smiled and patted his cheek, “Solas. I am fine. If there is ever anything bothering me, you shall be the first to know.”

He finally smiled, “Of course. I shall let you sleep then and see on the morrow.”

I could almost see his slight twitch on my hand, but instead of coming closer he stepped away and was out the door before I could really understand what happened. I giggled as I closed and warded my door. The damn Wolf was starting his games.

I got into my sleeping wear and snuggled in bed, making sure my wards were secure, and promptly fell into the Fade.

My space was just as it always was, but again, I felt a presence. Solas? Or the Wolf? I felt it again and decided that the feel of magic was more. The Wolf then.

I began humming another tune. Feeling him edge closer again I started singing softly:

I’m not a perfect person

There’s many thing I wish I didn’t do

But I continue learning

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I’ve found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

He was a few feet from me now. I smiled in greeting and sang still; patting next to me for him to sit.

I’m sorry that I hurt you

It’s something I must live with everyday

And all the pain I put you through

I wish I could take it all away

And be the one who catches all your tears

That’s why I need you to hear

I’ve found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

And the reason is you

He was lying next to me now, watching me sing. He looked relaxed. More so than the last time I saw him.

I'm not a perfect person

I never meant to do those things to you

And so I have to say before I go

That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me

To change who I used to be

A reason to start over new

And the reason is you

I've found a reason to show

A side of me you didn't know

A reason for all that I do

And the reason is you

It was quiet for a moment before I said, “Good evening ma fen.”

He rumbled, “Good evening da’lan. How was your day?”

I started petting him, I knew he liked that, “It was good. Found out I was more of a freak than I originally thought, but eh. Yours?”

He snorted, “You’re eccentric, but I believe the word that suits you best would be special.”

I laughed, thinking about Solas’s words earlier, “My friend said this today, as well.” I looked right at Fen, and said seriously, “I’m sure you know of Solas.”

He was quiet a beat, looking into my eyes, “Yes. He is another Fadewalker.”

I smiled, “Are you friends with him?”

“We are, acquainted. Yes,” he hummed.

I chortled, “You do not get along? He can be very,” I was trying not to laugh, “pretentious.”

I could see Fen rear back, looking almost offended, in-as-much as a wolf can, “Pretentious?”

I finally laughed out loud. Long and powerful. When I had some semblance of control I said, “He is pretentious. But he is a good man.”

He sniffed, “You do not like him?”

It was my turn to look offended, “Why do you say that?”

“You called him pretentious. That doesn’t see like a good quality to have in a friend.” He all but growled.

I looked at him. Really looked. He seemed sad. Oh, Solas, “He is pretentious. He seems to have a hard time with giving control to others. He doesn’t see everyone as equals.” I could see visibly how my words were affecting him, “But Fen. He can be caring. He can be kind. I was almost… He stayed with me. He held me. Made me feel safe. I can never thank him enough for being there when there was no one else. When others would have brushed it off. For all his know it all attitude, he can back it up. He is a wonderful teacher. He loves magic. Absolutely loves and enjoys learning new things. He is honorable. Look at how he is helping to stop the Breach? Even to the detriment of his safety.”

Fen was quiet, then said, “You have known him how long?”

“Only a few days.” I heard a snort, “But Fen… I know things. Things that others do not. I feel things. Things others do not. I am different. My intuition has never been wrong before. Never.” I took a deep breath, knowing that I had to say something. He could kill me, I knew, but I hoped. I hoped that I have proven myself. I whispered, “He is a good man, just as you are a good man.”

Tension. Surprise. Distrust. I could feel them all, here in my space.

“Am I not a spirit da’lan?” He all but growled.

“Spirits feel different, Fen. You know this. They have a different signature; as do people.” I looked over at him, sensing his tension. I started to pet him again, “You are powerful, Fen. Of that there is no doubt. But you? A spirit? No.”

He started to relax a bit, sensing the truth of my words, “You are… different.”

I snorted, “This we have already established. But Fen, I do not care if you are a man. Beast. Spirit. Whatever. You are Fen’Harel. Savior of the People.”

Tension again, “You do not believe the Danish teachings?”

I laughed again, “I do not. The ‘Creators’ were people with an enormous amount of power. But absolute power corrupts absolutely. They became power hungry, and over time through centuries of war they were so powerful that they became would-be gods to the People.”

He was quiet, then rumbled almost silently, “How have you come by this information?”

I sighed again. I needed to start trust between us, but I couldn’t say where I was from. I couldn’t give him what he seemed to want. I smiled softly, thinking that maybe he wouldn’t kill me if I kept up my mystery. Then sighed again, knowing that I could help him, if only he would trust, “Knowledge is power, Fen. And unless you are going to get my answers through nefarious means,” I looked at him and smiled, “Then it does not matter. We both know I am different. It is no secret. My secrets are my own, however, just as yours are our own. I may know who you are. I may know your history. But I do not know all your secrets. Prove a friend. A real one. A deep one. And you will know loyalty like no other.” I sharpened my gaze, “Prove a liar, and we will both be less for it.”

He growled, “Is that a threat?”

I shot my eyebrows up, “A threat? No. A promise? Yes. There are things I know. Things that could change the course of the future. Things that could end the world, if I let them. But I have seen paths. Seen what can happen. And no matter the path, you are there. As are others. But I cannot say. What happens if I say too much and change the future by people already knowing? There is one I could trust, besides you. But I cannot know for certain yet.”

“It is Solas, is it not?” He rumbled.

I nodded, “You two are very similar.” He snorts again, “Both pretentious. Both cocky. But you are both loyal. Both kind. I will have to see what paths you both take, before trust can become one with a tentative friendship.”

Silence, then he said, “Trust is hard. I have been alone for a long time da’lan. As has Solas.”

I smiled a kind smile, “Yes. But you do not have to be.”

More silence, then Fen slowly got up and walked away, “I will think on your words. Will you tell Solas of our conversations?”

He stopped when I didn’t answer right away, “Do you wish me to?”

He snorted, “It would be wise to tell the truth for your trust to begin, would it not?”

I laughed, “Yes. But there is trust between us too. If you did not want me to tell, I would not.”

He huffed then dipped his head, “I thank you. I will think on your words. _On dhea’lan da’lan_.”

“Goodbye, ma fen.” I whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reason - Hoobastank


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I did not edit this very well before posting. My bad everyone!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On dhea’lam - Good evening  
Son vellem - Well met  
Erelan - Dreamer  
Vun Las - Sun hope / light of hope  
Vun - Sun  
Onhar - Wonder  
Nehn - Joy  
Ma nuvenin - As you wish  
Ir abelas. Ma ane ina’lan’ehn. Ma ane on. Ra on da’latha. Ematha mar ableas. Ma rogasha. - I am sorry. You are beautiful. You are good. It is good to weep. Embrace your sorrow. You are brave.  
Ma serranas, ma fallon. - Thank you, my friend  
Tua'sal - Always  
Banal nadas - Nothing is inevitable  
Ma ane garahnen - You are everyting

It was interesting, the Fade. The more time I spent in this place the more I noticed. I could feel the magic. I could feel the spirits. It was almost comforting, knowing that I wasn’t alone. Where the Fade was warm and welcoming, at least to me, the waking world didn’t feel like that. It was cold, and harsh.

Feeling a pressure in my head, I knew Knowledge was asking permission to enter. There was also something with him. This should be fun.

Allowing them entrance, they appeared a few feet from me, “Knowledge! _On dhea’lam_!”

Knowledge and his companion came over and greeted me, “_Son vellem_. I am glad to see you in good spirits Da’ean.” He looked at the spirit next to him and motioned, “My companion wanted to meet you.”

I looked at his companion, and the shape of the spirit was a beautiful elvhen woman. She smiled and greeted, “_On dhea’lam_, Herald.”

I grimaced, “Please, no Herald. We both know whose power I carry, and it isn’t Andraste’s.”

The spirit gave a surprised laugh, “Yes, you are correct. I am Wisdom.”

My eyes widened, and I quickly hugged her tight, “Oh! I am so glad to meet you!”

She was gracious, and hugged me in return, “As am I.” As we parted, she continued, “I must confess, When Solas came to me to get Wisdom about what had happened, I was worried. Not only for him, but for the one who bears his mark.”

I nodded sadly, “If all goes according to how I know, I will most likely loose my arm.”

Wisdom was quiet. Her face contemplating something. Knowledge, however, spoke, “It is interesting. These events that you seem to know. But these events happened without you here, correct?”

I nodded, “Yes. No matter who becomes the Herald, the events mainly stay the same. It’s the little choices that could have mass affect upon the waking and spirit world. I am… afraid.”

Wisdom lightly grasped my hands, “And you are wise to be afraid; but you must remember to not let fear itself rule. Fear is a tool, use it to help.”

I smiled, “Thank you Wisdom. Thank you, Knowledge. I am glad that my time in the Fade has been more than welcoming. It makes me wonder, however, why most mages fear the Fade when they could easily do what I am doing.”

Knowledge speaks, “That is because they are taught to fear their magic. Fear breeds mistrust and mistrust breeds ignorance which in turn breeds hate. It is a vicious cycle.”

I nodded, “I have met no demons within the Fade, nor felt their presence. Is there a reason they have not approached me?”

Wisdom spoke this time, “You are a light. You shine as bright as the sun. Spirits are attracted to you, as are demons; but here in the fade, where most mages are fearful, demons have power. With you having no fear, demons have no power. They feel you and are interested, but with your light, your magic, they fear you more.”

I was blown away, “Wisdom, Knowledge, my magic is so… different. I fear using it in the waking world around others. You know their fear. Their mistrust. I do not want to become another Andraste.”

Knowledge spoke, “This is a practical fear. Your magic is different because you will it so. You have no limits because you don’t think there are any. You are an _erelan_. You are magic. You are the Fade. To us, you are Fade. To us, you are _vun las _(sun hope/ light of hope), our ray in the dark.”

I was stunned, “I am different. I know this. Solas knows this; but not what makes me different. Why do I not have… my body?”

I was scared to hear the answer, but Knowledge gave heed of my fear, “You have a different body because when you came here from your world, your body was dying. It could not withstand the transfer. The Fade created a new body for you, one that could withstand this world, both waking and non-waking.”

If the Fade created me… “Does that then make me like Solas?”

Wisdom was smiling. My grandmother used to give me that same smile, “Yes.”

I couldn’t stand. I had to sit down. Without grace, I slumped on the grass. Wisdom sat quietly beside me, taking my hand and squeezing. Knowledge stood still, looking happy.

Wisdom spoke quietly, assuredly, motherly, “You call to us. You are _vun_ . You are _onhar_ . You are _nehn _. The Fade shaped you, and the Fade you become.”

I could feel the pull of waking up. I looked at my friends, and smiled, “I am stunned, but I am happy. Solas is not alone. You are not alone.” I closed my eyes and whispered, “I am not alone.”

Waking up, I felt at peace. Hearing the knock at my door, however, made me sigh. I got up, again not caring about my night clothes, and opened the door. I had expected Cullen again, but there stood Solas. His eyes widened at my dress, but I just ushered him inside.

Once the door was closed, I asked, “What time is it?”

He kept looking at me, but finally answered, “It is a little past the fifth bell. The sun has not yet risen. I wanted to come and retrieve you before we left.” He pulled out a staff from behind him, and I smiled, “I brought your staff. I wanted to check before we left how it suits you.”

I gently took it and got an immediate response from it. It felt right. It was warm and gentle, like my magic. I looked at Solas and said, “Thank you. It feels perfect.”

He nodded, then coughed, “I believe that I shall wait for you to dress. If you need help with your armor let me know.”

I tasked, “Solas, I’ll tell you the same thing I told Cullen yesterday. There is a dressing screen, and it’s cold outside. Just wait there.”

I could see he look conflicted, but he eventually nodded. I smiled, then quickly gathered my clothes and armor. Behind the dressing screen I started talking, “How was your sleep Solas?”

“It was adequate,” he replied. After a moment, he asked, “How was your time within the fade?”

I smiled, “I made some new friends.” Putting on my last piece of armor, I came from behind the screen. Solas looked me up and down, and I could see something in his eyes. Something new; appreciation.

“Oh? Would you be willing to share?” He asked.

I smiled, then started on my footwraps, “I would. It was Wisdom.”

It was not the answer Solas was expecting, “You met a spirit of Wisdom?”

I nodded, starting on my other foot, “I did. Knowledge brought her. Apparently, she had been wanting a meeting for a while.” I looked at Solas, and he was staring at me. A look undefinable on his face, “She was wonderful. She felt like someone I used to know. It made me feel a peace.”

Solas had a gentle smile on his face now, “Yes. I can believe so.”

I was now done, and as I strapped my staff to my back I said nonchalantly, “I also met one other.”

At this he perked up, “Oh? Another spirit?”

I smiled, “It was not a spirit.” I could see his tension and I took his hand gently, “It was another dreamer.”

He looked intently at me, “Are you able to say?”

I squeezed his hand, “It was someone you know, Solas. It was Fen’Harel.”

He tried to look surprised, but I could sense an excitement within him, “I do know him. It is said that he is a God.”

I laughed, “There are a lot of things said about the Elvhen Pantheon Solas, but I doubt most of it is true.”

He smirked, “And how would you know? Were you there?”

I smiled slyly, “Oh Solas, you are funny.” I didn’t answer, but kept up the conversation, “The Dalish worship would-be gods who were power hungry. They were powerful, that is true, but not gods. But Solas, we both know how power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I am sure Fen told you the story.”

Solas nodded his head, “Yes. He sought to set his people free from slavery from the Evanuris. They had become so power mad that they killed one of their own, a deed that they paid for.”

I nodded and whispered, “Poor Mythal.”

Solas’s sharp look should have wilted me, but I just patted his cheek, “Fen knows about me, just as you do. You both are important to me,” I swallowed and said firmly, “You both are important to the future.”

Solas was still, “What of the future?”

I smiled and stepped back from him, “The future is the future Solas.” I went toward the door and before I could open it, he stopped me. I looked over my shoulder and saw him. He was tense. Pensive. Coiled tight. I smiled warmly and said, “Let’s go Solas.”

I could see he knew that he was’t going to get more out of me, so he nodded, and we went out toward the front gates. Cassandra was already there, but Varric was still missing. Heading over toward Cassandra I whispered, “Are we ready?”

Cassandra nodded, her pack on her shoulders, “Yes Herald. We are just waiting for Varric to make his way here. I have some rations that I would like you and Solas to pack. The Commander, Josephine and Leliana should be arriving momentarily to go over things one last time. It will take us about 4 days on foot. Once we get horses to travel it shall be much easier.”

I nodded in acceptance and packed the rations. It took only a couple minutes before Cullen, Josephine, Leliana and Varric came our way.

Varric looked barely alive and gave a big yawn, “Did we have to leave so early Seeker?”

Cassandra gave her usual ‘ugh’ and responded, “Maybe if you didn’t drink yourself into a stupor you would be feeling better this morn.”

Varric gave her a mock offended look, “But Seeker. I have to give the people what they want!”

Cassandra just looked disgusted then turned toward my advisors, “Let’s get on with it. The sooner we get this talk over the sooner we can leave.”

Leliana stepped forward, “Mother Giselle was last seen in the Hinterlands outside Redcliffe, tending refugees who fled the fighting between renegade templars and apostate mages. The latest reports suggest that the vicious struggle between the two groups has spread to the Hinterlands, catching the refugees - and Mother Giselle - in the middle. It is vital to protect her and, if possible, restore order to the area.”

I nodded seriously, then looked at my other advisors.

Cullen then said, “Make sure that you take out much of the mage and templar resistance. Horse master Dennet is there as well, but I’m sure Scout Harding will be able to assist you when you get there.” He looked directly at me then, “And please, be careful.”

I could feel the tips of my ears redden and I smiled my affirmation. I looked over at Josephine and she smiled and just said, “Good luck, Herald.”

I smiled and on we went. It was quiet. Almost too quiet. But the day was fair, and I quietly started humming a tune.

Varric, who was near me, said, “Vi, I didn’t know you could sing.”

Cassandra looked at me and smiled, “Whatever the tune was it was lovely. Would you mind signing the lyrics?”

I paused; I had only sung for Solas. I was not sure how well I could sing outside of the Fade.

Noticing my hesitance, Cassandra asked, “Would it be painful for you? You said speaking was hard on you.”

I sighed, but said, “Speaking itself is not painful. I have just not done it in so long that it scares me a little. But for you all, who are my friends, I shall.”

I took a deep breath, and began:

_Feeling my way through the darkness_

_Guided by a beating heart_

_I can't tell where the journey will end_

_But I know where to start_

_They tell me I'm too young to understand_

_They say I'm caught up in a dream_

_Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes_

_Well that's fine by me_

_So wake me up when it's all over_

_When I'm wiser and I'm older_

_All this time I was finding myself_

_And I didn't know I was lost_

_So wake me up when it's all over_

_When I'm wiser and I'm older_

_All this time I was finding myself_

_And I didn't know I was lost_

_I tried carrying the weight of the world_

_But I only have two hands_

_I hope I get the chance to travel the world_

_And I don't have any plans_

_I wish that I could stay forever this young_

_Not afraid to close my eyes_

_Life's a game made for everyone_

_And love is a prize_

_So wake me up when it's all over_

_When I'm wiser and I'm older_

_All this time I was finding myself_

_And I didn't know I was lost_

_So wake me up when it's all over_

_When I'm wiser and I'm older_

_All this time I was finding myself_

_And I didn't know I was lost_

_I didn't know I was lost_

_I didn't know I was lost_

_I didn't know I was lost_

_I didn't know I was lost_

Everyone was silent, but Varric eventually said, “I should have called you siren. That was beautiful Vi.”

Cassandra had tears in her eyes, “Yes. That was stunning. Where did you hear it?”

I looked at Solas, who was almost as pensive as me, when I answered, “I just have songs in my head; and so I sing them.”

Cassandra spoke, “Would you… sing another?” She was blushing slightly, but I could see she was earnest in her adoration.

I nodded, and spoke, “Varric, you may copy these if you’d like.”

Varric laughed, “I appreciate the approval.”

I smiled, thinking about a song just for Cassandra, and started another song:

_Wise men say_

_Only fools rush in_

_But I can't help falling in love with you_

_Shall I stay?_

_Would it be a sin_

_If I can't help falling in love with you?_

_Like a river flows_

_Surely to the sea_

_Darling, so it goes_

_Some things are meant to be_

_Take my hand,_

_Take my whole life, too_

_But I can't help falling in love with you_

_Like a river flows_

_Surely to the sea_

_Darling, so it goes_

_Some things are meant to be_

_Take my hand,_

_Take my whole life, too_

_For I can't help falling in love with you_

_But I can't help falling in love with you_

Cassandra was now in tears. Varric was furiously writing whatever he did in his notebook, and Solas’s ears were red tipped. I smiled. This was nice. I was so happy that my voice seemed to please everyone.

Solas was the first to speak, “That was wonderful, Herald.”

I scrunched my nose at his use of title, but smiled a little as well, “I am pleased you all liked it. I must confess, I did not know how my voice would sound.”

Cassandra spoke, “How long ago was it that you lost your voice? Or did you never have one?”

I thought about it, “I was very young, only ten summers. I was in an accident. My mother and father were both lost, and I was hanging on by a thread. I somehow overcame my injuries, but my voice was forever lost. Although, I had not tried to speak after it.” I was silent a moment before adding, “Grief took many things that day.”

“I am sorry, Herald,” Cassandra spoke solemnly.

Varric shook his head, “Damn Vi. Who took care of you?”

I was silent, thinking of the foster care system, and grimacing, “I took care of myself after that.”

Nothing else was said for a while. Evening was fast approaching, but I could feel something was not right. I stopped. Everyone else stopped as well. I could feel something in the air.

Solas came up to me and spoke quietly in my ear, “What is wrong?”

I looked at him and whispered, “Something is not right. There is something in the air… Almost like a malevolence.”

Solas looked grim, “Then we should be cautious.”

Before he stepped further, I asked, “Would you be willing to cloak? Maybe determine what is up ahead?”

Solas look surprised, then thoughtful, then pride shone in his eyes, “_Ma nuvenin_.”

Within a blink Solas was gone, and I stepped toward the others and relayed what had transpired between us.

Cassandra look strained, and Varric looked pensive. Within a few moments, Solas reappeared and said softly to us, “The Herald’s feeling was correct. There is a group of bandits further up the path.”

Cassandra was grim, “How many?”

Solas looked thoughtful, “From what I could sense, there were at least 6, but there could be more.”

I swallowed. This was it. My first trial. With a deep breath, I straightened my spine, “We need to get rid of them.” Everyone nodded. “Solas and I will cloak ourselves and take out the archers, and if there is a mage, we will get them too. They won’t sense us. Varric, I want you to cover Cassandra. Make sure that you are well hidden. Cassandra,” I looked at her and smirked, “Do what you do best. Kick their ass.”

She snorted, “A sound plan. How will we know when to engage?”

I thought a moment, “I will send up a flair. You will know Cass, I swear.”

She nodded, “Be careful, Herald. Solas says you have a remarkable control of your magic, but I still worry.”

I nodded and brought my hand on her shoulder, “I will Cassandra.”

I looked at Solas, and we cloaked ourselves. After getting a few feet from Cassandra and Varric I whispered, “We shall bring them in here one at a time, if we are able. That way there will be no noticeable trace.”

He looked at me, pride and fear both shone in his eyes, “Let us begin.”

We were quiet as we flanked the bandits. I did not know if sound could carry; we did not test it out, but I did not want to find out within their range.

We worked smoothly and efficiently. One by one, the bandits were brought in our fade-cloak and immediately either encased in ice and shattered or burned. Once the last archer was taken care of, we uncloaked ourselves and I shot up a flair. I then heard Cassandra screaming her way into the camp.

The bandits had no clue that we took out their range. The fight was over very quickly.

I felt sick. Guilty. I took a life. But I also felt relief. Relief that we were alive. Relief that everyone was not injured.

Solas put his hand on my shoulder, and without meaning to, I shoved my face in his chest, wrapping my arms tightly around him. My tears streaming down my face silently, I let out my fear and guilt. Without a word, he held me tightly, whispering softly, pleadingly, “_Ir abelas. Ma ane ina’lan’ehn. Ma ane on. Ra on da’latha. Ematha mar ableas. Ma rogasha_.”

Cassandra and Varric quickly dealt with the dead bodies. After a few moments, my tears had slowed, and I breathed in Solas’s scent deeply. Lifting my head, I looked into his sorrow filled eyes and whispered, “_Ma serranas, ma fallon_.” 

“_Tua’sal_.” He murmured. He slowly let me go and gave me a small smile.

I smiled back at him, then looked over at Cassandra and Varric; each wearing expressions of sorrow. “Do not worry, I will be fine. This was the first time I have killed.”

Cassandra looked resolute, “Of course Herald.” She looked around and then continued, “We should quickly gather some supplies these bandits acquired then make camp.”

I nodded, “Lead the way.”

Varric fell in line near me and said, “The first time is always the hardest, Vi. But we are all here for you if you should need us.”

I looked at him and swiftly gave him hug, “Thank you Varric. You’re such a good friend.”

He blushed a little, then cleared his throat, “Yes… well. You remind me of someone.”

Surprised, I asked, “Who?”

He had a fond smile, “Her name is Daisy. She’s the purest person I know, besides yourself.”

I blushed then teased, “Aww Varric. I had no idea you thought that way about me.”

He laughed then went further ahead to irritate Cassandra. I chuckled, watching their banter. I was almost at peace; I was just missing one thing. I looked over at my shoulder to watch Solas. He was deep in thought, his forehead wrinkled with tension.

I slowed and took his hand gently. He looked over at me, startled. Then smiled, releasing his tension.

“Are you sure you are alright, Grace?” he asked.

I nodded, “I think so. But we shall see. Killing hurts.” With my other hand I rubbed over my heart, “I felt their spirits leave. Their life snuffed out. I understand it was either them or me, but I cannot help but feel mournful of their passing. This needless killing…”

He squeezed my hand, “That is true. Killing is never easy. But you have others, such as the Seeker and Master Tethras to help.”

I looked at him, “And yourself, Solas?”

He looked at me and said in complete seriousness, “Always.”

I was taken aback. He was never like this in the game. But then, he was not like he is now in the game at all ether. This is a new Solas. His ideals and thoughts about the future might be the same, but the way he handles himself around me…it is so contrasting. In thins moment, there was no lie. No half-truth. Only him. Bared to me. I was touched.

I slowly put my hand on his cheek, and I could feel him barely leaning into the touch. I smiled gently and whispered, “_Banal nadas_.” 

He closed his eyes, then opened them, eyes shining, “_Ma ane garahnen_.” 

I gently rubbed my thumb across his cheek, smiling. I did not know how or why, but there was something tweet us. There always had been. I could see that now. I doubt that even he knew what was going on.

Varric interrupted us yelling, “Chuckles, Vi, we found a place to set up. Let’s go!”

Solas slowly straightened then made his way over to where Cassandra and Varric had determined to set up camp. I stood there, glad that I had Solas. Glad that I had Cassandra and Varric. And knowing who else I was to meet; I was glad to be a part of this world. I breathed deeply, smelling the foliage around me, and smiled wide. My adventure truly starts now.

Solas looked back, a question in his eyes, and I made the first step toward him, and my future, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wake Me Up - original artist is Avicii, but I love the acoustic version found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhzSSW__ZTE  
Falling In Love With You - original artist is Elvis, but again, I love this version by Pentatonoix: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSkHIv7GhOM


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a little bit of smut, but not too explicit. Just letting you all know! :D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ma nuvenin - As you wish  
Ma fallon - My friend  
Ma ane fenor, da’asha - You are precious, little woman  
Ma ane a en’an’sal mor’ishan -You are a gift, large/tall man  
Ma ane soun. Ma diana em i isalathe. Ar isala mar av - You are strong. You fill me with desire. I want to taste your lips  
Ar isala diana ma i ma’nuven’in - I want to fill you with my desire.  
Arala itha ma dhea, Solas- I’ll see you in the morning Solas.   
On era’vun, ma’asha - Good night, my woman

Setting camp was relatively easy, there was only one problem.

Varric scratches his head, “Well shit. There’s only two tents.”

Cassandra grunts in disgust, “We have only limited supplies, it was inevitable that this would happen.”

Solas was quiet, but I could see he was not happy with the situation.

I looked at my companions and said, “Then who would like to bunk together?”

Cassandra looked anxious, “Will we not separate based on gender, Herald?”

I looked at her, contemplating, and said, “Why does it matter? Do you think either Solas or Varric the type to take advantage?”

She back-peddled fast, “No! Of course not!”

Varric chuckled, “Good to see you don’t think us capable Seeker.” He then looked around and picked up some sticks, “We’ll draw lots. That way it’ll be honest.” I heard Cassandra snort. “We could to this every night hereafter.”

I smiled and nodded, “That sounds perfect. This way I can bunk with everyone equally.”

Cassandra gave a defeated sigh, “Herald, it is unseemly to share with males.”

I gave Cassandra a long look, “Honestly Cass, it’s unseemly to be an elf.” She looked shocked, then guilty. I continued, “But I can’t change that. Just like I can’t change that I’m female. We will share responsibilities. There will be times where modestly plays no part. Being a Seeker, I know you know what I’m talking about. I want us all to be comfortable around each other, and the only way to do that is to be around each other.”

She nodded, placated, “Of course, Herald. I understand. I am just… used to things a certain way.”

I patted her arm, “You’ll come to find out that I see the world differently Cassandra. I’ll be treated certain ways because of the shape of my ears; because I am a woman. There are bad people out there, that is true; but that doesn’t mean that I’ve given up hope of everyone getting respect, even if there is no like between us.”

Solas spoke quietly, “That was well said. Let us begin draw.”

We all huddled around Varric, each of us drawing a stick. Cassandra and Varric got the longer ones, and Solas and I got the shorter ones. I smiled at Solas; whose eyes twinkled back. Cassandra gave a disgusted grunt, and Varric looked almost sick.

I laughed lightly then said, “let’s set up now, shall we?”

Varric and Solas decided to hunt for dinner while Cassandra and I set up the tents. I felt a little mortified asking her for help, but she assured me that it was okay.

“You do not have to feel guilty for asking for help, Herald. It is alright,” She said.

I sighed, “You’re right. I know, and I thank you.”

She smiled, “You are welcome.”

Solas and Varric came back after we got the campfire going with two nugs and a fennec. They were quickly skinned and roasted upon the fire.

“Varric,” I said as we were waiting for the meet to cook, “Would you mind telling us a story to pass the time?”

Varric smiled, “Sure Vi! Let’s see, did I ever tell you about the time that I caught Hawke and Fenris in her mother’s room?” And off he went.

I laughed, “Varric. That was hilarious! I had no idea someone could even _be _in that position!”

Cassandra sputtered, “H- Herald!”

I looked at her and raised my eyebrow, “Oh come now, Cass. You can’t tell me that that position is well known. I mean,” I leaned in and mock-whispered, “Think of the muscles required for that!” She snorted and I said, “Oof!”

Varric was howling and Solas, poor Solas, his cheeks were red. But he was smiling.

“Perhaps now we should retire, Herald,” Solas said, eyeing me seriously, “Especially after the day you have had.”

I nodded and said, “Who has what watch tonight?”

Varric raised his hand, “I’ll take first Vi. Bianca needs cleaned properly.”

Cassandra spoke next, “I shall take second watch, Herald. Solas and you should take the last watch. Goodnight Varric, Solas.” She then went straight to her tent.

Solas and I exchanged glances, then with a wave to Varric we went toward our tent. He motioned me to go in first, so I did. I then lit up the tent with a simple light spell.

I turned toward Solas and asked, “Shall you change first, or shall I?”

Solas turned and said, “I shall wait.”

I quickly got into my nightwear and turned around, “I am finished. You may go.”

After a minute or so he said, “I am done.”

I turned around and smiled, “Are we ready for bed then?”

His ears were a bit pink when he said, “Of course.”

We both got into our perspective bedrolls. Within minutes I was shivering. After another minute Solas sighed, “Are you are right Grace?”

I huffed, “I- I’m a-alright S- S- Solas. I am j-just c-c-cold, is all.”

He let out another sigh then I heard movement. Suddenly I felt his arms wrap around me, and he put his bedroll on top of mine, pulling mine around him as well, “This should keep you warmer.”

I was silently freaking out. Solas had his arms around me!

“Unless,” Solas said, “you would rather a warming rune?”

I shook my head, “No!” I pulled his arms a little tighter around me, “I am grateful for the warmth. Plus, I like cuddling.”

“Yes,” Solas whispered, “I remember.”

It was quiet for another moment when I heard Solas ask, “What were the words you used?”

Basking in his warmth, I was caught unawares, “What words?”

“I believe the words were anxiety and depression,” he said.

“Ah,” I said, “Anxiety is when you feel full of worry, nervousness, or unease. It’s typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. This is different from stress, where stress has a reason for being there, but anxiety comes out of nowhere usually. Depression is feelings of severe despondency and dejection. Oftentimes this is accompanied by loss of appetitie There is no cure for either, really. But there are things that can help or lesson the affect that they have on any individual.”

He was silent, “And body touching helps?”

I chuckled, “When you cuddle with someone you care about, or just someone you may like in general, your body releases something called oxytocin that calms you and makes you more likely to deal better with stress.” I snuggled closer to him, loving his scent washing over me, “So when I said cuddling reduces stress, I meant it. It’s your body’s way of relieving stress.”

Solas was quiet for a moment, then squeezed me lightly, “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

“You’re welcome,” I said happily, “If you are ever stressed out, let me know. I’ll give you a big hug. Or Cuddle, if you’d like. I’m a pretty touchy-feely person, but if I ever make you uncomfortable, please let me know.”

“I will,” he said. After a few moments I felt when he went into the fade. It was interesting. It was almost like half of him was here and half was there. I sighed happily, then shut my eyes.

Opening my eyes, I was in my space. This time, however, I knew that I wanted to change it. I closed my eyes and thought about the beach from my childhood. How the sea salt went through everything, how the seagulls swarmed the rocks, how the sand felt beneath my feet. I opened my eyes and sighed in contentment. It was perfect. The same beach, without all the people. I thought about a cute swimsuit to match my happiness. Hot pink with violet trimming, and a cute swimsuit cover to match. I laughed and ran up to the waves, my arms open wide and feet planted. This. This was amazing.

I was so excited, that I failed to notice another presence within my dream. Upon realizing who it was, I turned and yelled, “Solas! Come into the water! It’s warm!”

Solas, wearing his normal clothes regarded me with pink cheeks, “I am sorry. I seemed to have come at an inopportune time.”

I snorted, “For who?” I held out my hand, “Come one Solas, it’s just water.”

Slowly he looked me up and down, the smiled, “Ma nuvenin.” He then proceeded to take of his tunic and undershirt, then rolled up his pants. He then took my hand and came into the water.

I sighed in contentment again. It was quiet, when I suddenly thought about a song I remembered about elves and the sea, “This reminds me of a song.”

Solas looked at me, then said, “Would you sing it for me?”

I nodded then closed my eyes, thinking of the music that would accompany it, and began:

_Lay down_

_Your sweet and weary head_

_Night is falling_

_You have come to journey's end_

_Sleep now_

_Dream — of the ones who came before_

_They are calling_

_From across the distant shore_

_Why do you weep?_

_What are these tears upon your face?_

_Soon you will see_

_All of your fears will pass away_

_Safe in my arms_

_You're only sleeping_

_What can you see,_

_On the horizon?_

_Why do the white gulls call?_

_Across the sea_

_A pale moon rises_

_The ships have come_

_To carry you home_

_And all will turn to silver glass_

_A light on the water_

_All souls pass_

_Hope fades_

_Into the world of night_

_Through shadows falling_

_Out of memory and time_

_Don't say_

_We have come now to the end_

_White shores are calling_

_You and I will meet again_

_And you'll be here in my arms_

_Just sleeping_

_What can you see,_

_On the horizon?_

_Why do the white gulls call?_

_Across the sea_

_A pale moon rises_

_The ships have come_

_To carry you home_

_And all will turn to silver glass_

_A light on the water_

_Grey ships pass_

_Into the West_

Solas just stared out into the sea, his face relaxed, “That was beautiful, Grace. What was the song about?”

I breathed in deep and said, “Elves.”

He looked at me sharply and said, “Elves?”

I returned his bold stare with steady eyes, “Yes. There is a story about elves and how they were the first beings created by god. They were favored, and so had everlasting life.” I looked out toward the sea, “Oh, they could die of a blade just as easily as man, but they healed faster, had magic, and never aged. It was said, that when they were no longer needed, they would hear the call of the sea; and into the West they would sail into the Undying Lands, where there was no evil, and forever be.”

Solas was silent, and said, “I have never heard of such a story.”

I looked at him and winked, “So you have heard every story every created?”

Solas had the grace to look abashed, his ears slightly pink, “I am no young elf, Grace. I have spent many year in the fade going over history; wherever my travels bade me. I have heard many a tale, but none that you have just described.”

I smiled a secret smile, “Well Solas, I may just tell it to you. But,” I leaned in a bit to whisper, “you have to be good.”

I could feel a tug, and leaned back, “It’s time to _wake up_.”

I opened my eyes to see Cassandra’s pink face, “Herald, I, uh, apologize but it is time for your and Solas’s watch.”

I nodded and said, “Thank you Cassandra. Give us a moment and we’ll be right there.” I started to get up when I felt Solas tighten his hold.

“A moment more, Grace,” Solas whispered.

I chuckled and said, “This is going to become a thing, isn’t it?”

Solas snorted, then let go, “I believe you said it was healthy to do this.”

I choked on a laugh, “That’s your excuse?” I saw the haughty look on his face, and his smirk, “For your health?”

Solas nodded, “Just so.”

I shook my head then said, “Turn around. I need to dress.”

We took turns then came out of the tent. I went over toward Cassandra, whose face was still beet red, “We’re ready Cass. Go on and get some sleep.”

She nodded sharply, looked at Solas, turned even more red, “Of course, Herald. Till morning.” She made for her tent so fast, I was surprised she didn’t trip.

I looked over at Solas, who looked cool as a cucumber by the way, and shrugged, “How did you sleep Solas?”

He smiled, “It was adequate, Herald.”

I chuckled quietly, “So, since I probably won’t cuddle everyone I sleep with, would you mind teaching me a way to keep myself warm at night?”

He nodded, “Of course. Here, let me show you.”

The rest of the remaining night was spent on learning new glyphs and spells. When I could just sense the sun, I woke up Cassandra and Varric. We quickly ate breakfast, then put up camp. The remaining two days were boring really. Nothing really happened, except for that first day.

It was early evening when we saw the Inquisition camp that held Harding. Walking up, she came over to meet us, “The Herald of Andraste. I’ve heard the stories; everyone has. We know what you did at the Breach.” She smirks, “Everyone’s a little nervous around mages right now, but you’ll get no back-talk here. That’s a promise. Inquisition Scout Harding, at your service. I, well, all of here, will do whatever we can to help.”

I nodded and smiled, “Thank you. Lieutenant Harding.”

She blushed, “Either Harding or Lace is fine, your worship.”

Varric chuckled, and inserted, “Heh. Harding huh?” Everyone stopped and stared. “Ever been to Krikwall’s Hightown?”

Lace looked confused, Cassandra sighed, and I was trying to keep a straight face. Lace then spoke haltingly, “I can’t say I have. Why?”

Varric smirked and said, “You’d be Harding in H-. No… never mind.”

I snorted while Cassandra gave a disgusted ugh.

Harding continued, now looking pensive, “We should get to business. The situation’s pretty… dire. We came to secure horses from Redcliff’s old horsemaster. I grew up…here; and people always said that Dennett’s horses were the strongest and the fastest this side of the Frostbacks. But with the mage-templar fighting getting worse, we couldn’t get to Dennett. Maker only knows if he’s even still alive.” She looked so sad. Then seemed to gather herself and said, “Mother Giselle’s at the Crossroads helping refugees and the wounded. Our latest reports say that the war’s spread there too. Corporal Vale and our men are doing what they can to protect the people, but they won’t be able to hold out very long. You’d best get going. No time to lose.”

She then went off toward the camp. We all looked at each other and Varric said, “Well Vi, shit.”

Solas then added, “I agree. It looks like the situation is very dire.”

I agreed, “Let us get some rest since it’s evening, then we’ll head out early tomorrow. Let’s get something to eat.”

Everyone nodded, then parted to get our camp situated. Once everyone was fed and were relaxing around the campfire, Cassandra said, “Herald. Would you mind if I asked you to sing another song?” I looked at her startled. She continued hurriedly, “You have such a wonderful voice.”

Varric nodded, “You sure do Vi, and I’m sure it would boost morale to have their Herald sing something for them.”

Varric new how to get me. I sighed, then nodded. Thinking of what song would be appropriate, I sang:

_Oh, misty eye of the mountain below  
Keep careful watch of my brothers' souls  
And should the sky be filled with fire and smoke  
Keep watching over Durin's son_

_If this is to end in fire  
Then we should all burn together  
Watch the flames climb high into the night  
Calling out father oh, stand by and we will  
Watch the flames burn on and on the mountain side hey_

I could see everyone slowly inching forward; Cassandra was riveted, Varric was furiously writing, and Solas was watching with rapped attention.

_And if we should die tonight  
Then we should all die together  
Raise a glass of wine for the last time  
Calling out father oh  
Prepare as we will  
Watch the flames burn on and on the mountain side  
Desolation comes upon the sky_

_Now I see fire, inside the mountain  
I see fire, burning the trees  
And I see fire, hollowing souls  
And I see fire, blood in the breeze  
And I hope that you'll remember me_

I was looking around at all the soldiers now. Some had wet eyes, while some looked determined. It was working.

_Oh, should my people fall  
Then surely I'll do the same  
Confined in mountain halls  
We got too close to the flame  
Calling out father oh, hold fast and we will  
Watch the flames burn on and on the mountain side  
Desolation comes upon the sky_

_Now I see fire, inside the mountain  
I see fire, burning the trees  
And I see fire, hollowing souls  
And I see fire, blood in the breeze  
And I hope that you'll remember me_

_And if the night is burning  
I will cover my eyes  
For if the dark returns then  
My brothers will die  
And as the sky's falling down  
It crashed into this lonely town  
And with that shadow upon the ground  
I hear my people screaming out_

_Now I see fire, inside the mountain  
I see fire, burning the trees  
And I see fire, hollowing souls  
And I see fire, blood in the breeze_

_I see fire, oh you know I saw a city burning (fire)  
And I see fire, feel the heat upon my skin (fire)  
And I see fire (fire)  
And I see fire (burn on and on and mountains side)_

It was silent after I finished. Harding came up after a few minutes and said quietly, “Your Worship. That was… indescribable. Thank you. From everyone here, we thank you.”

I smiled and nodded. Looking at everyone, I suddenly started to get anxious. There were too many people; too many eyes. I was starting to breathe heavier. I could tell if I didn’t get away, I would have a full-blown panic attack.

I stood up, trying to look nonchalant, and said, “I am going to bed now. I will see everyone in the morning.” I then made my way to my tent with a sense of urgency. Before I got in, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I almost screamed. I whirled around and saw Solas, then sighed in relief.

“I apologize if I frightened you, Herald. I was wondering if we could have a moment to talk before you retire for the evening.” I nodded and made my way into the tent.

Looking at him as he entered, I asked, “What was it you wanted to talk about?”

He looked back at me and seemed to come to some sort of conclusion, then stepped closer to me and raised his arms, “Do you require a relief of stress?”

I was stunned. Then I started laughing. Then I started crying. Then I went into his arms and felt relief, “I am sorry for crying all over you. It seems to be a recurring theme.”

He held me a bit tighter then said, “It is no trouble. I too, feel the need for some relief of stress.”

I chuckled and sniffed, “So we kill two birds with one stone, right?”

He nodded. He just held me. No questions asked. It was too late. I knew this was a bad idea; to get involved with the Dread Wolf. He always left in the end. Always. But I couldn’t stop these feelings. I didn’t want to stop these feelings. I would take that pain. I squeezed him tighter and whispered, “Thank you, Solas.”

It was a couple moments before he spoke again, “Are you all right now?”

I began to step away and I looked at him, “I am. Thank you, Solas. You’re such a good friend. _Ma fallon_.”

Solas looked at me, and lightly touched my cheek with the back of his fingers, “Ma ane fenor, da’asha.” 

I smiled and said, “Ma ane a en’an’sal mor’ishan.“

Solas laughed, “Large?”

I sniffed, “You’re huge Solas. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. You, Messer, are no average elf.”

He smirked, “No? Pray tell, what makes me different?”

I laughed, “Are you being serious right now? Or are you just fishing for compliments? Because Solas,” I leaned in a bit closer and whispered, “I’ll give you compliments.” I felt him stiffen slightly and his breath hitch. I continued to whisper near his ear, “You have beautiful eyes. Your smile is infectious. You have a cute little cleft on your chin… Shall I go on?”

His ears were red, and he was breathing a bit harder when he answered, “I find that I rather enjoy this topic of conversation.”

I smiled, pulling him closer to me, “Ma ane soun. Ma diana em i isalathe. Ar isala mar av." 

I felt him shiver before he answered, “Ar isala diana ma i ma’nuven’in.” 

It was my turn to shiver, “Bold words Solas. Can you back them up?”

Solas backed away, his eyes on fire, “We shouldn’t…”

I smiled, “Ah. I see.” I then started to step back, but he held tighter.

“I said we shouldn’t. Not that I wouldn’t,” and then he kissed me. It was much like him. Understated at first. A peck. A test. Then it grew bold. I turned my head to get a better angle and I heard him growl. He held my hair in one hand and his other made its way to my ass, then squeezed. I’m not ashamed to say I moaned. He took advantage and plundered my mouth with his tongue. I was wet. I could smell my want. I wrapped my hands around his neck and pulled him closer.

He groaned and pulled away, panting, “We need to stop.”

I was panting as well and said, “ma nuvenin, Solas.” (As you wish, Solas)

He didn’t move, and neither did I. We were both still breathing hard when I heard someone outside the tent laugh. We both stilled. I had almost forgotten that we were in a camp full of people.

I sighed, “We should get some sleep.”

Solas seemed to be fighting himself, “I believe that it would be prudent for our time tomorrow as well.”

Neither of us broke out of our hold. It was like we couldn’t, “Solas. If I asked you to stay, just to sleep, would you?”

Solas seemed surprised, but answered, “It seems as though I still require that relief of stress.”

I laughed and pecked him on the nose, “then let us retire for the evening.”

He slowly let go, “Ma nuvenin.” (As you wish.)

We both turned and got dressed in our nightclothes, then got under the covers and he immediately pulled me into him.

I sighed in contentment, “Solas, I have a question.”

He began to rub my stomach with his thumb, “Yes, Grace?”

I felt anxious answering this, but I had to ask, “This feeling between us. I have never felt such a pull Solas.”

His thumb stopped for a moment, the repeated its movement, “You wish to know if this is normal?”

I nodded and said, “Solas. I feel so… like if I am not near you, I can feel the difference in the air around me. The feel of your magic, the taste; even the smell of your person. I feel oversensitive to it all. No one else makes me feel this way. Although, I have not been around another mage, could it be that I am reacting to the magic?”

Solas answered readily, “I cannot answer as to your sensitivity to magic. I can say, however, that your oversensitivity to me in particular, is reciprocated.”

“So, this is not common between mages?” I asked.

I could feel Solas shake his head, “No. This is definitely not common. I have… seen things like this in the Fade.”

“What things?” I asked.

“There is always a feeling of belonging for mages around other mages. None seem to have your sensitivity to magic in this era besides myself. I have spent countless time in the fade trying to see the time before the fall of our people, and what we have was something rare; even from then.”

I sighed, “So again, I am different.”

Solas tightened his hold on me, “Do not feel distraught for being different, Grace. It makes you special.” I could hear him take a breath, “We are both different.”

I held my breath, then asked, “You’re different too?”

Solas was quiet a moment, then said, “What we have is something so special, Grace, that I would never trade it for anything.”

I let my breath go in a sigh, “Is it a type of bond?”

“It is a rare type of bond. There were those bonds in Arlathan that the elves took as magical partners; creating a stronger magic between them. Then there were those who took romantic partners, that created what we already have. It was not necessarily a forced bond, but a natural bond such as our was so rare, only a select few ever found it.” He stopped for a moment, then continued, “But we also seem to have a natural magical bond.”

I gasped, “So, what does that make us?”

“It does not make us anything. There is a natural bond, yes, but we have not solidified it. We will always feel this way, it is natural, but if we decided to solidify it, we would be bound for all eternity and beyond. Even in death. If one of us were to die, then the other would not be able to live without the other.”

“What about if the tie was severed before it was solidified?” I asked, a little overwhelmed.

“I would never do such a thing. To do that would take away what is you. What is me. It would be akin to making us tranquil.” Solas said, his voice becoming hard.

I was quiet for a moment, when I came to a decision, “So, we either leave it as is, or we become tethered.”

Solas nodded then whispered, “I would never have thought, in my lifetime, I would have this.”

I turned in his arms and looked at him. His eyes were wet, and he was looking at me with such wonder. I smiled, and slowly ran my hand down his cheek, “What do you want Solas?”

I could visibly see him struggle. Finally, I could see his decision had been made. I was scared. I already loved him. If he denied this, denied me, I would be crushed.

“I know I shouldn’t. I have… complications in my life, Grace,” He said.

I nodded, “I understand, Solas. But I didn’t ask you about your life before this. I didn’t ask you about how this could work. I honestly don’t care about any of that. You could be the Dread Wolf and I wouldn’t care one wit.” I could see his eyes widen in surprise, “I know what I want. I believe you know what I want. I asked you, what do **you** want.”

He was stunned. His eyes widened, his breathing shallow, and his cheeks and ears were red. He suddenly leaned in and took my mouth. And it was him taking. I gave him everything I could. Everything I felt. It was wet. It was messy. It was perfect. I hoped it was enough.

When he leaned back, he put his forehead on mine and whispered, “I cannot deny our bond. To do so would be akin to deny myself. I cannot deny you. I cannot.” He leaned back and took my face in his hands, looking directly in my eyes, “I want this. I want you.”

I closed my eyes in relief, “Are you sure Solas? Because if we start something I will never let go.” I looked into his eyes, as serious as I could be and said, “Ever.”

Solas took me into his arms and hugged me tight. We lie there for a while, basking in each other. I could feel his magic surrounding me; comforting me. It could smell his scent: books, elfroot and outdoors. I leaned back and said, “I’m glad you’re here Solas.” I leaned in and kissed him slowly; appreciatively.

When the kiss ended Solas said, “We should get some sleep. There is much to do on the morrow.”

I nodded, turned back around and snuggled closer, “Arala itha ma dhea, Solas” 

Solas ran his thumb along my stomach again, “On era’vun, ma’asha.” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is some steamy bits, but again, nothing too explicit. I'll let ya'll know when things get more... well more lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> falon’saota - bond mate  
Ma fen - my wolf  
Ma Solas - my pride  
Ma nuvenin, ma fenor - as you wish, my precious  
Ma asha. Ma fenor. Ma lath - my woman. my precious. my love

Opening my eyes in my space, I was once again at the Beach. I knew that either Solas or his alter ego Fen would appear tonight. I had a feeling who it would be though. So, I closed my eyes and thought of my apartment. Thought of my furniture and how soft it was. How I loved my kitchen, with all the natural lighting from the windows. How I had little nick-knacks from the kids I worked with on my mantle and refrigerator. How I loved the smell of cinnamon and cloves. Opening my eyes, I gasped. It was exactly as I had remembered it; down to my laundry basket being full.

As I slowly walked around, I felt him. Fen. Asking for permission to enter. I took a deep breath, knowing that this would give something of me away. I couldn’t keep up the lie. Not when I loved him. Not when there was so much at stake. Then I let it go and gave my acceptance.

Immediately he was in my space; crowding it. He tensed, I could see it, and everything was quiet as he took in my space in the Fade.

Finally, he spoke, “Da’lan, where is this? I have never seen anything like it before.”

I grinned sadly and answered, “No, you wouldn’t have. Fen," I said while opening my arms wide, "this is where I lived before the Breach.”

Solas looked at me through his red eyes and said, “I do not understand. Where is here?”

I sighed and walked toward my bedroom, “Does anything here look familiar at all to you?”

“No,” he said eventually.

I nodded and said, “No, there would be nothing familiar here. Why would it, when it’s a different world?” He looked sharply at me and I continued, “I was a normal young woman who had a normal job helping kids. I was walking towards one of my kid’s home when I believe I got shot.”

I went under my bed and pulled out my little safe, and quickly opened it. I pulled out my gun with the bullets and showed them to him, “I was most likely shot with this.” I gave him time to look and smell it before I put it back in the safe and back under the bed, “It is called a gun. Almost like a crossbow but with the small projectiles going faster than the eye can see.”

I looked over at him and I could feel tears starting to form, “I died. Right outside my apartment. I remember feeling the blood leave my body. How cold it was on the ground. I remember closing my eyes and then… nothing. I ended up here.”

Fen came up next to me and put his head gently on my shoulder and said, “Ir abelas. That is something no one should go through.”

I sniffed, “When I asked Knowledge how I came to be here, he told me that the fade took me and when my body was not compatible, it made me a new one. That is why I am so different. It ripped my soul out of my original body and put me in this one.”

Fen nuzzled me, “Then you are like me.”

“Yes,” I rubbed his snout and behind his ears, “I am like you. Unless I die from a wound, I shall live forever.” I sighed, “It’s a scary prospect.”

Fen snorted, “You will not be alone.”

“I know,” I said, “I will always have you. But what of the others?”

I knew, then, that I had him, “Are you referring to your falon’saota?”

I closed my eyes. I hated all the lies, so I quietly whispered, “Solas.”

He tensed, and I couldn’t tell if he knew I was calling him or not. But he spoke, “You love him?”

I looked at him and smiled, “I do.”

“And you do not care that he has been keeping things from you?” he pressed.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, “In the end, as long as he loves me and keeps the promises he made to me, then it does not matter.” I opened my eyes, “Besides, I am keeping things from him as well. Look around, Fen. This is not exactly something you just bring up. Especially since what we feel is almost…”

Fen waited, and when I didn’t finish, he asked, “What do you think about your bond?”

“I am not sure. Do I really love him, or is the bond so strong that it is compelling me to feel this way?” I started to pace, “And if this bond is compelling me to love him, how much would I have to endure? Would my bond for him overshadow my morals? My values?” I stopped pacing, and sighed, “But I also think that I do love him. In fact, I know I do.”

“The bond is there to make what you feel stronger, not to make you feel anything you don’t already,” Fen said, “It is something so rare, what you have. Bonds of love could be forced. I have seen it happen. It is abhorrent. Bonds of magic have also been created. Those are less messy, but no less abhorrent in my eyes. But the natural bond you two have is strong. I have not seen it since Mythal and Elgar’nan.”

I was surprised, “I always thought that they had more of an arranged marriage. They had what Solas and I have?”

Fen nodded, “Yes. It was the only time I have ever seen a bond such as yours. Others tried to create a bond such as theirs, Dirthamen and Falon’din had a natural magical bond that they were content with; for a time. Andruil and Ghilan’nain were the first to create a bond of romance and they enhanced their magical bond with it. Theirs was…different. I think Andruil loved her, in her own way, but Ghilan’nain just wanted power, and Andruil gave that to her. June and Sylaise had the romantic bond, but not the magical bond.” He sighed, “They tried for years to create what Mythal and Elgar’nan had, but nothing went as planned.”

I was stunned, this was not in any of the games, or lore, “What of you?”

Fen looked at me and said, “I did not care to create a bond without substance. I wanted what Mythal had.”

I rubbed his nose and asked, “And did you ever find it?”

This was it. He would either lie or tell me something, “I did.”

I snorted, what a load of crap, “That’s it? Where are they?”

Fen huffed, almost sounding offended, and said, “She is here.”

I stopped, what? Here? Was he inferring me? I looked sharply at him and stepped back, “Fen, are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Before me he transformed. I almost stopped breathing. He was breathtaking. He was a man now, with his golden Elvhen armor and his wolf skull helmet. His wolf pelt was draped ceremoniously across his shoulder. I could not see his eyes, but I could see his chin. That cute cleft was still there. His dreads were long and flowing down his back. He looked proud. He looked strong. But I could see how stiff he was. His anxiety about showing me his true self was overwhelming.

I slowly approached him, and asked, “Can I touch you?”

It was a tense moment before he said, “Yes.”

His voice, it was different, but also the same. It was deeper. More profound. I slowly put my hand on his chest and felt him breath in and out. I made my way toward his neck and felt his pulse race. Then I made my way toward his face. I first felt his chin and smiled. Then I put both hands on his cheeks and whispered, “Ma fen. Ma Solas.” Then I slowly took off his wolf bone helmet. First his nose became visible, then his eyes. And oh, his eyes. They were so beautiful.

Solas, Fen’harel, said, “Now you know.”

He said it like it was a curse. Like I wouldn’t love him anymore. My poor, poor man, “Solas. Ma fen, I already knew.”

He was surprised. In shock, he finally choked, “How?”

I smiled, and leaned in and gently kissed his cheek, “I’ve always known.” I gave him my biggest smile and said, “I am so glad you told me. Now you know.”

He slowly took my face in his hands, face still in awe and gulped, “Know what?”

“Why, that I love all of you.” I said simply.

His reaction was instantaneous. He kissed me. I could feel his love poor into the kiss. His desperation. His hope. Everything here in the Fade was felt ten-fold. Like in the waking world, I poured myself into this kiss as well. My love. My hope. My acceptance. Everything. It was wonderful. It was glorious. I was forever ruined.

When he pulled back, he was panting, “You are… so beautiful.”

I could feel the pull of sleep start to leave, “We have to get up soon.”

He was still holding my face, his eyes aglow and his cheeks red, “Yes.”

“Solas,” I said. He was now looking at me intently, “before we wake up, I want you to know that I understand what you are trying to do. I know what you are planning.”

He was serious now, “Then you understand why I have to do it.”

I nodded, “Yes. I understand, and I agree; to a point. I know the Veil has to come down. It’s already unstable, even before the Breach.” He nodded, “But Solas, I don’t think tearing it down is the best option. I love this world. I love everyone in it. All species. All walks of life. I know that you have thought this through, but I was wondering if you thought it was the only way.”

Solas stepped back from me, “You do not like what I have to do.”

I stepped right back up to him and took his hand, “No. I do not. But that doesn’t mean I don’t agree that it needs to be done.”

He nodded and squeezed my hand, “You know about my orb?” With my nod he continued, “Then you know the mistakes I have made have been irreparable.” He stopped and took a deep breath, “We need to get the orb back from Corypheus.”

“Yes.” I said.

“If I can retrieve the orb, then there are other ways I could take the Veil down that would be less… damaging.” He then looked at me and said, “But if I am not able to get my orb back…”

I nodded, “I know, Solas. I know.” I ran my hand down his cheek, then sighed, “Let us not dwell on it right now. We have other things to think about, and other things to do.”

Solas nodded and leaned forward to kiss my head, “Ma nuvenin, ma fanor.”

I snickered, “Oh Solas, you are so good. I am ruined now. Simply ruined.”

Solas smirked, then said, “Our time in the fade is almost done. Any last words?”

I smiled and said, “I’ll see you soon.”

I then opened my eyes and felt Solas stir. As he awoke fully, he turned me around and kissed me soundly on the mouth. I gasped, and he took advantage. His tongue was hot, wet, and warm. Gods did this man know how to kiss. It got very heated, very fast, before he pulled away harshly and whispered, kissing me in between each breath, “Ma’asha. Ma’fenor. Ma’lath.”

I was crying with relief; blubbering everywhere, kissing him back and whispering, “Ma’lath. I love you. So much. Thank you. Thank you.”

We held each other for a few moments, before I started laughing.

Solas leaned back and said, “Why are you laughing?”

“Because,” I said, “I can’t believe I am in love with you and that you love me back." I breathed in deeply and whispered, "You love me back and you told me who you were.”

Solas smiled and said, “Once I knew of our bond, I could not stop myself. I told you, to deny you was to deny myself. I could never knowingly hurt you. Once we tether the bond, it will be impossible to keep things from one another.”

I snuggled closer, “We have so much to discuss.” I then looked at him and smiled, “But we have all the time in the world.”

He nuzzled my neck and smelled me, “We do.”

I almost groaned, I moved my neck to give him more room and said, “Solas, we have to get ready.”

Solas kissed my neck and said, “We do have much to do today, but I find that recent events have made me unable to have the same sense of urgency.”

I did groan this time, but slowly moved away, “We have time, Solas. But the people here in the Hinterlands, do not.”

He sighed, and said, “You are correct. People will notice our shared intimacy; what would you tell others?”

I snorted, “I won’t say anything unless someone asks directly. It’s none of their business.”

Solas smiled, “Then I shall do the same.”

We quickly got dressed and ready. When we had all our gear on, we set out and headed toward Cassandra and Varric; who were getting breakfast.

Cassandra’s face was once again red, “Good morning, Herald. Was your rest satisfactory?”

Varric snorted, “Seeker, I doubt there was much rest.”

Cassandra sputtered, Solas’s ears were red, and I laughed, “Varric, what are you insinuating?”

Cassandra growled, “Yes Varric, please tell us what you meant about our Herald.”

Varric put his hands up in a non-threatening gesture and placated, “Nothing, Seeker. I meant nothing.”

I snorted and winked at Varric, “Well then, since we are all here, let us figure out what we should do first.”

Cassandra said, “We should see Mother Giselle first. Then if there is time, seek our Dennett. We need to get those horses for the Inquisition.”

I nodded, “I would agree, but if these people need help then I would like to do that as well. There are so many people here that have been caught up in this war. We need to help everyone, not just those that could benefit us.”

Cassandra looked abashed and said, “I agree, Herald. I apologize if I came across as not wanting to help.”

I grabbed her arm and smiled, “No need, Cass. You are a great person. You just have a one-track mind. We will help everyone we can. We will probably be here for several weeks getting everything done.”

Varric and Solas both nodded and Solas said, “Then the sooner we get going, the sooner we will be done. Let us begin.”

I looked at everyone, who nodded and after letting Harding know we would be off, we went and headed down toward where she said Mother Giselle was. Upon entering the clearing, we could see fighting everywhere. There were mages and Templars fighting each other and everyone else. We could also see Inquisition soldiers trying to help the civilians and fighting those that came to close to the town.

I looked toward Cassandra and said, “Let’s kick some ass.”

She smirked, then turned and ran toward the fighting; shouting to get their attention. Solas and I were focusing on the mages, Varric was taking hits on the Templars, and Cassandra was tearing through everyone. Casting felt natural, and there were no incidents within our party. It was another 20 minutes of fighting before we were done. There were several bodies of both mages and templars, and a few Inquisition soldiers.

Cassandra came up and huffed, “It is done. Let us go and find Mother Giselle now.”

I looked at Solas and said, “Would you mind seeing if anyone requires healing? If they will not let you heal them with magic, direct them toward Mother Giselle, and we’ll figure it out from there.” At his nod I looked at Varric, “Varric, see about what other needs need to be met within the town. I have a feeling these people have been here for longer than they should have and are low on a lot of provisions. Let whomever is in charge know that we’ll do all we can to get everything in order.”

Varric nodded and then Cassandra and I headed off toward where we could see Mother Giselle. We could see her trying to get a soldier to accept magical healing. After a couple moments, she convinced him, and she turned toward us.

“You must be the one they are calling the Herald of Andraste,” She said, inclining her head.

I smirked and said, “It was not my idea, but yes, it is I.”

She too, smirked, and said, “We seldom have much say in our fate, I’m sad to say.”

I chuckled and said, “You agree with them, then?”

She tittered and replied, “I don’t presume to know the Maker’s intentions, for any of us. But I did not ask you to come simply to debate with me.”

I nodded, solemn, then asked, “Then why have you called?”

She motioned me to walk with her, away from the refugees and the soldiers, “I know of the Chantry’s denouncement, and I am familiar with those behind it. I won’t lie to you; some of them are grandstanding, hoping to increase their chances of becoming the new Divine. Some, are simply terrified.” She looked out toward where you could see the Breach, “So many people, senselessly taken from us.”

I too, looked toward where the Breach was and said, “It was tragic. But, don’t you stand with the rest of the Chantry?”

She looked thoughtful for a moment, then looked back at me and said, “With no Divine, we are each left to our own conscious.” She smiled then and said, “And mine tells me this: Go to them. Convince the remaining Clerics that you are no demon to be feared. They have only heard frightful tales of you. Give them something else to believe.”

I grinned, “You want me to appeal to them?”

She chuckled, “If I thought you incapable, I wouldn’t suggest it.”

I thought a moment and said, “Would they even listen to me? I am an elf, and we both know how elves are viewed through the Chantry.”

She shook her head then said, “Let me put it this way. You needn’t convince them, per say, you just need some doubt. Their power is their unified voice. Take that from them and you will receive the time you need.”

This was what I was waiting for. I smiled and nodded, “Thank you. I appreciate all you are doing for the refugees. The Chantry. And the Inquisition.”

She inclined her head then said, “I honestly don’t know if you’ve been touched by fate, or sent to help us, but, I hope. Hope is what we need now. The people will listen to your rallying call as they will listen to no other. You could build the Inquisition to a force that will deliver us; or destroy us. I will go to Haven and provide sister Leliana the names of those in the Chantry who will be amenable to a gathering,” She turned, then said over her shoulder, “It is not much, but I will do whatever I can.”

Cassandra and I looked at each other when she went out of sight, then I said, “So, what do you think?”

Cassandra snorted, “I think that I hate politics just as much now as I did when I was younger.”

I laughed and said, “I feel the same. But we all have a part to play. I just hope that I can play mine well.”

With that we both turned and went over toward where Varric was. Coming closer I said, “Did you find out the state of the town?”

Varric shook his head in disappointment, “The people here are starving and cold. Corporal Vale suggested we go get some ram meat and we can get some food and blankets out of them to help those in need. They are also low on reagents for health potions. Truth be told, no one has dared to go out far enough due to the Mage and Templar camps being so close by. Other than that, I haven’t had the time to comb through everyone and get their stories.”

I nodded and said, “Thank you Varric. I appreciate what you did. We’ll go and get some ram meat soon. I’m going to check on Solas really quick. Will you two talk to Vale and find out where it is best to hunt? That way we won’t be going around and taking too long.”

They both nodded and left, and I turned and headed toward the medical tent. When I approached the outside, I heard, “We don’t need no knife ear to tell us how to do our jobs!”

I was seeing red. I marched in there and saw two people in Chantry robes yelling at Solas. I came and stood next to him and looked at the two people and said calmly, “What seems to be the issue?”

One, a man, snorted and said, “Another? What has the Inquisition come to, to allow all you rabbits in?”

I took a deep breath and said calmly, “I’ll be sure to let my advisors know that people are bigoted. Thank you for your concern. Solas?” I looked at him and he looked calmly back at me, “Let’s leave. It’s obvious they don’t need any help here.”

Solas nodded and said, “As you wish, Herald.”

We were almost to the front of the tent when the woman in robes said, “Wait!” I looked back and she was walking towards us, “You are who they are calling the Herald of Andraste?”

I stood tall and proud and said, “What of it?”

She kneeled and said, “I humbly ask you forgiveness for my partner’s treatment of you.”

Surprised I said, “Get up, please. I knew that the views of the people would not be favorable toward me.”

She got up and looked at me once more, “But that is no excuse for the words that he said about you, and about your husband.”

Startled, I looked at Solas, who just nodded, and I looked back at her and said, “All we want to do is help. There is a big hole in the sky, and everyone is fighting everyone else. All I want is to close it and help people get back on their feet.”

She smiled and said, “And I thank you for it. Mother Giselle was talking about you earlier, but I know that some of my brethren are not happy with you being an elf. I, however, do not care.”

I smiled and said, “If you are willing, would you help us here? There are people who are needing healing, and some of them need magical help. Solas was just trying to help, like I asked.”

She nodded, “I will do all I can to help you and the Inquisition here. I am the head sister of the Medical tent, and if there is dissent, I will send them elsewhere.”

I stood closer and held out my hand for a shake, “Thank you, Sister”

I looked at Solas as she went toward her people and whispered, “That was interesting.”

Solas agreed, “It was… fascinating to see you reel her in with your words.”

I looked at Solas, who looked at me with appreciation and smirked, “Oh, you are incorrigible.” Then I laughed and said, “Sweet talker.”

By the time we were done in the medical tent, it was late afternoon. Solas and I stepped outside and were greeted with Cassandra and Varric.

Varric said, “So Vi, we have gotten that location for the Ram. We were also able to establish where a couple of rifts were located by our scouts before everything went to shit.”

I smiled, “That is excellent news. Solas and I just finished up here in the healing tent. Let us get some rest, eat, and then we’ll hunt some ram.”

Sitting down and eating, Varric said, “So Vi, I hear you’re married to Chuckles now.” I choked on my food and he smirked, “When did that happen?”

Solas, seeing me having trouble swallowing, said, “It was easier to make them believe that we were together for various reasons.”

Cassandra looked mortified by this conversation, but Varric was basking in it, “Such as?”

Solas sniffed and said, “They were upset that a knife ear was wanting to heal. Then the Herald came in. They too, saw another elf, and came to the conclusion themselves that we were together. It seems to placate them to the idea of me helping them”

Varric guffawed, “So they thought ya’ll were together, and you just let them believe that?”

I finally swallowed and said, “Yes, Varric. It was easier to let them believe us being together. Just like it was easier to let them think I was the Herald of Andraste. Us being together gave Solas the credentials to be able to heal the sick and wounded.”

Varric laughed and said, “All right Violet. I’ll let you off the hook this time. But you need to tell me why Solas has been seen leaving your tent this morning.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is a little bit shorter then the rest, but it also has more explicit content. If you don't want tor ead that, I would advise skipping this chapter. :) Enjoy!

I looked over at Solas, who was trying not to smile, and I winked before saying to Varric, “Didn’t you hear Varric? We’re married now.”

Varric guffawed, “All right Vi. Congrats Chuckles! I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Solas sniffed, mock irritated, but smiled and said, “Thank you, Master Tethras.”

Cassandra let out a disgusted grunt, “Varric, you are disgusting.”

Varric leered at her and said, “Oh Seeker, you have no idea.”

I laughed and got up to wash everyone’s dishes. Once we were all done, we decided to get the ram first. That was relatively easy, and we didn’t come into contact with a lot of resistance. Once we got them in the camp we again went out and gathered as many reagents for potions we could. When we finished it was almost completely dark.

I looked down at myself, noting the blood, dirt and grime covering me, then looked at everyone and said, “I need to bathe. Cassandra, do you want to go with me?”

She nodded and said, “Let me gather my belongings and I will meet you there.”

I went toward my tent and Solas followed. I looked over at him before entering and winked, “Are you following me Messer Solas?”

He stepped up to me and wrapped his arms around me, “I might have had the notion, yes. Alas, my belongings seem to be in your tent. No doubt from a suspicious and extremely inquisitive dwarf.”

I barked a laugh then sighed, resting my head on his chest, “Today has been long. I can’t wait to feel clean. Are you going to wash too?”

Solas nodded, “Yes. I detest being filthy. I’ll probably wash with Varric.”

I looked at him and smiled, “Will you meet with me here afterwards?”

His ears became a bit pink as he answered, “I suppose, seeing as my possessions are here. Besides, I still require your help for stress relief.”

I laughed then stepped over to my pack, gathering a towel, extra clothes and various cleaning soaps and oils. I stepped back over to Solas and stepped up to kiss his cheek, “I’ll see you once I’m done.”

Solas smiled, “Till then, ma’asha.”

Meeting Cassandra we went over toward a secluded part of the river and after making sure we were alone, stripped and entered. I sighed in contentment and said, “This feels heavenly.”

Cassandra chuckled and said, “It does feel good.” We were both quiet as we washed, and once we were almost done, Cassandra finally asked, “You and Solas… is it true you two are together?”

I laughed and looked over at Cassandra. Her cheeks were pink, but she was almost mooning over me, “Yes,” I said, “It happened recently, and everything is new, but we are together.”

Cassandra sighed, “That is so romantic. I am happy for you, and I hope that everything works out.”

I nodded, getting out of the water and drying off, “Thank you Cass. You are a true friend. Now… what about you?”

Cassandra, now putting on her clothes, stopped and looked surprised, “What about me?”

I rolled my eyes, “Have you found anyone worth mentioning?”

Cassandra looked wide-eyed and said, “No. No one has caught my interest as of yet.” She was quiet for a moment before she said, “There was someone… but… he died at the conclave.”

I reached over and hugged her, “I am so sorry Cassandra. I can only say one thing: hope. Hope got us here. Hope will get you through the pain.”

Cassandra squeezed me back then let go, “Thank you Herald… You know. I have just realized. I have never asked you your name.” she looked down, embarrassed.

I smiled and said, “It’s alright Cass,” I held out my hand and smiled, “It’s wonderful to meet you. My name is Grace.”

Cassandra smiled, shook my hand and said, “That is a wonderful name. Thank you for sharing it.”

I nodded and made my way toward my tent, calling, “Of course!”

Entering my tent, I noticed that Solas was not here. Figuring that he must still be washing, I used some warming glyphs to warm the tent, and started brushing my hair. It was calming, and I was so relaxed, finally.

Hearing the tent flap move, I looked over and saw Solas enter, “On dhea’lam Solas.” 

Solas put his things away and sat next to me. He wordlessly took the brush from me then started brushing my hair. I sighed in contentment.

“How was your ablution?” Solas asked after a moment.

“It felt wonderful. How was yours?” I asked.

Solas stopped brushing my hair and began to braid it, “It was adequate. Varric kept pestering me with questions about our relationship.”

I snorted and said, “Cass asked as well. I told her the truth. It is new, but we are together.”

Solas, now finished with my hair, moved it to the side and started nuzzling my neck, “I said as much to Varric as well. He wanted details; apparently for a novel he’s writing about you.”

I moaned, feeling his lips kiss a sensitive spot beneath my ear, “Solas. I cannot think when you do that.”

Solas hummed and said between kisses, “That is not a bad thing.”

I moved my head to the side to give him easier access, “This is not relaxing Solas.”

He started to rub my shoulders and arms while kissing my neck, “Give me a few moments more, and you shall be.”

I groaned again and said, “Solas, we’re in a tent; surrounded by everyone. Tent’s don’t have thick walls.”

Solas stopped for a moment, made some silencing glyphs, then resumed his touching, “There, now there should be no more issues.”

I quickly turned around and straddled him. He was surprised, and his hands automatically grabbed my waist, “If all it takes is a few moments, I don’t think you’re doing it right, Solas.” Then I undulated against his growing hardness, making him inhale.

“I fear you may be right,” he all but snapped, face strained.

I did the motion again, feeling him harden further beneath me, “If we do this right, we can both be relaxed.”

His hands on my hips tightened, and he met me in the motion this time, almost growling, “I fear my mind is becoming clouded. You have reduced me within moments.”

I kept up my movement, and leaned closer to his ear, nibbling on the tip. He groaned, the sound desperate. I whispered, “That’s the goal.”

Suddenly, he flipped me under him, and he was between my legs; arms on either side of me. His eyes were molten lava. His breath teasing my face. He was panting when he ground out, “Is this what you want?” he thrusted his hips provocatively, causing me to gasp, “Because I don’t think I’ll be able to stop once we start.”

My body shook. It was calling out for release. It was calling for him; my magic barely contained beneath my skin. I put both hands lightly on his cheeks and said, “Solas, I am yours. Please, bond with me.”

He growled before he savaged my mouth. Somehow our clothes came off and we were skin on skin. He was gorgeous. His freckles went on to his shoulders and down to lightly dust his chest. He had toned abs and strong, long legs. He was lean and toned. Striking. Soon, he was kissing me everywhere. My lips, my neck, my breasts, my hips. When he finally went lower, I held my breath.

Hovering over my center, he parted my folds and breathed in deeply, “You smell so good.” He looked back up at me, eyes gleaming with heat in the dark, smirked, and said, “I remember smelling you in Haven. I almost took you then.” I moaned, remembering how strained he was that day. All while I had no idea he could smell me. That he could even want me in that way. Still looking at me he said, “Did you know, I pleasured myself before you came to see me for the first time at my cabin?” So that was why his smell was so overwhelming in his cabin. He bent back down and then licked his lips, “I have since pleasured myself before our meetings, hoping you would smell my want for you. I can’t wait to taste you.” And before I had a chance to answer he was on me. His mouth moving sensually over my glistening folds expertly. All I could see through my pleasure-slit eyes was him. All I could feel was him. My senses were in overdrive.

With the last pieces of thought I could muster I moaned, “Solas, ma ane ma’sa. Ar lath ma.” 

He groaned and took me higher than I have ever been; his tongue expertly bringing me to the edge of my climax faster than I could grasp. I exploded. I felt everything; him, me, all things within the universe were pinpointed to my senses. My magic exploded out of me and into Solas. I could feel his energy; how his magic expertly curled around and held on to mine. When I finally came down, Solas was above me, looking strained; chest and manhood expanding with excitement.

I opened my legs further so he could settle. Feeling the tip grazing my opening I whined, “Solas, please.”

He growled in victory and said before entering, “You’re mine.”

I moaned, feeling him enter just slightly and said with conviction, “And you’re mine.”

He took my mouth the same time he took the rest of me. His thrust was swift and stretched me more than I have ever been. I felt a twinge of pain and Solas immediately stopped, looking at me with wonder. Panting with strain to keep still, he said, “You were…”

I nodded, “I was.” His eyes were wild. This news was surprising, but I could see his pleasure at hearing those words. His ears and cheeks were pink with exertion when I finally calmed. “Solas,” I said while wiggling, causing him to groan and me to moan in unison, “move.”

And he did. Slowly at first, gauging my reaction; making sure he wasn’t hurting me. Then after finding his rhythm, his strokes were deep and confident, and filled me completely. I moaned again, and this caused him to tense, then switch positions. He sat up, taking my legs and pinning them upon his shoulders and thrust harder. I almost screamed. The new angle was deeper, and I felt even more of him than before; it felt so good. Solas snarled again, my reaction spurring him on, and started to move faster.

I could feel my climax coming again. My legs were starting to become numb, and I was trembling. I finally found my voice and keened, “Solas. Garun i em!” (Solas, come with me)

Solas snarled, thrusting faster and faster, “Ma ane emma. Ma ane emma bellanaris. Dirtha’vhen’an! Dirtha ma ane emma! (You are mine. You are mine forever. Speak your promise! Say you are mine!)

I was almost there, and I screamed before I came, “Ar ame nar! Ar ame nar!” (I am yours! I am yours!)

I heard him howl and I saw stars. Both our magic burst. I could feel his magic surround me. It ran through me; becoming me. Marking me. I could feel his every emotion through our bond. His elation, his love, how good he felt. I could feel my magic wrap around him, marking him as well. We were at once separate and together. It was the single, most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. I held him tight, coming down from my high.

It was several moments before I could speak, “Solas, that was…”

He was still panting, “Breathtaking.”

I hummed in response and lay there until our magic ebbed and slowly descended back into ourselves. He was still on top of me, but I loved the weight of him, and when he moved to get up, I hugged him tighter to me and whispered, “Not yet.”

He stayed still for a while longer, then said, “We should clean ourselves up.”

I finally let him go and when he got up to get his waterskin and some rags. I watched him. He was so stunning. I felt so special. So loved. As he moved to clean me, I laughed, reaching for the rag in his hands, “Solas, I can clean myself.”

He hummed and batted my hands away, “I made the mess. Let me clean you.”

I pretended to pout, and was slightly embarrassed, but I gave in to him. How could I not? He was being so sweet. So considerate. I could feel his love for me though our bond. It was warm. Wondering at this new sensation, I said, “Solas, I can still feel you. Everywhere. Will our bond always be like this? This strong?”

Solas came back and lied down next to me, wrapping his arms around me tightly and sighed, “No. We are in a stage of being oversensitive toward each other. Touching will reduce the symptoms, but it will not be so bad. It should calm down within a few weeks.”

I sighed as well, “What if we are separated?”

Solas tensed and said, “If we are separated, the most we could endure would be a couple days at most before we became… not ourselves. It is never a good thing, to be separated from your bond mate. Especially right after the tethering.”

“Solas, there are events where separation will be inevitable,” I said quietly.

Solas, still tense, said, “How long until they arrive?”

I rubbed his arm and said, “It is hard to say. Events pass differently then I remember them. This world was… a part of my world. But only through stories.”

Solas started to relax and asked, “And these stories, how were they interpreted?”

I sighed, “On my world, that’s all they were. I had no idea that this world actually existed, until I nose-dived in it.” Solas snorted, “Everything about what you have done, and what you are wanting to do is a part of that story. It is the story of the Inquisition. Of… me. Of you.”

Solas hummed, “So in your world you knew of me and what had happened due to reading these stories?”

“It was not quite so simple, but essentially yes. The stories were interactive; meaning you could choose how you wanted the story to go. There were multiple versions of three stories. The first story, you were the hero of Fereldon during the fifth blight. You could have been a human, an elf; either Dalish or city born, or a Dwarf from Orzamar. In the second story, it talks about a human named Hawke.”

Solas hummed and said, “The one Varric always talks about?”

I nodded, “The very same. I could have been either male or female. And we go through his or her story through the events that happened in Kirkwall. Then there is the last story; the Inquisition. It is based off what will happen to me within the next 3-5 years. It’s hard to know timelines because they were very fluctuated in the story.”

“So, you will know what happens, within the next 5 years or so, depending on how long events take?” Solas asked.

I sighed, “In the story… you fall in love with one of the characters.” I could feel Solas tense again, “When things don’t go as planned toward the end, you leave. You leave and don’t tell her why. You learn later on in the story who you are… because you come for the mark. It was killing her, and you eventually take her arm.” I was about to cry when I whispered, “Then you leave again. It doesn’t matter how much she begs; how much she believes in you or your cause. You still leave; thinking that you have to do everything alone. Forever alone.”

Solas tightened his hold on me and said, “I will never leave you, Grace. I cannot. Our bond forbids me.”

I swallowed the lump in my throat and said, “I know that you love me Solas, and I know that what you had with her was different. But when I first arrived, knowing who you were and knowing that you would most likely leave... it was torture. I think that I loved you from that first moment; I couldn’t not love you.”

Solas held me tight as I wept, saying, “Ar lath ma, Grace. (“I love you, Grace) I am yours, and you are mine.” After I calmed down, he asked, “You said that I took the Herald’s arm?”

I nodded, “Well, I become the Inquisitor, but yes. The power was eating her alive. You had to take her arm, before the power spread further and killed her completely.”

He sighed, then said, “It is different with you. You are my bond-mate. Whatever power either of us possess now is shared between us. Since you have my mark on your hand, it will be as if it was on mine. It will not kill you. Also, you being pure Elvhen will help with how much magic your body can take.”

I sighed in relief and said, “I am glad that I get to keep both arms. I was contemplating asking a future Inquisition member to help me make a prosthetic.”

Solas snorted, “It would not have been the same.”

I hummed thoughfully, “Hmm. No, it wouldn’t have.”

We were quiet for a moment before he asked what I knew he wanted to know, “My orb… I do not obtain it, do I?”

I turned in his arms and looked at his eyes. They were both sad and determined, “In the story, no. You do not. But Solas, I know how it happens, and I think there could be preventative measures we can take to make sure that it doesn’t happen.”

He kissed me soundly then said, “I would greatly appreciate that.”

I smiled, “We will come across several companions that will aid us during this journey. One in particular, whom you will become the fondest of, I’m sure.”

I could see that Solas was curious now, “A companion?”

I nodded, “There will be several people whom wish to become part of the Inquisition. Among them there will be some high-profile people, who will bring influence and power, and low-profile people who just want to help.” I gave a big grin and said excitedly, “There is a spirit of Compassion that has crossed over into the waking world, creating a body of its own. It will call itself Cole.”

Solas was thrilled, “It has manifested its own body?”

I nodded and said, “Yes. Cole will come at a time that we most need him, and he is the sweetest boy I have ever had the pleasure to know.”

Solas looked at me with wonder, “You talk as if it is a real person.”

I scoffed and was mildly offended, “Of course Cole is a real person! He’s just a confused spirit boy who wants to help people. The fact that he can become invisible to those he wishes not to see him and make people forget him notwithstanding; he’s absolutely adorable. I will most likely adopt the boy and help him with being in the waking world. Varric and one other will also be a surprising help to him as well. It is Cole, who I think will be able to help us with making sure we get your orb. Cole is great at keeping secrets.”

Solas took my face in his hands suddenly and kissed the life out of me. Panting I broke apart and said, “What was that for?”

Solas just looked at me full of love and said, “Ar lath ma, ma’asha.” (I love you, my woman)

I snuggled down into the covers and let out a yawn, “You, my good ser, have wiped me out. I am exhausted.”

Solas grinned and said, “Then let us sleep. On era’vun Grace.” (good night, Grace)

I sighed happily before saying, “Era’atisha Solas.” (sleep peacefully)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ma'asha - my woman  
On dhea’lam Solas - good evening, Solas.  
Solas, ma ane ma’sa. Ar lath ma - Solas, you are my one. I love you.   
Solas. Garun i em! - Solas, come with!   
Ma ane emma. Ma ane emma bellanaris. Dirtha’vhen’an! Dirtha ma ane emma! - You are mine. You are mine forever. Speak your promise! Say you are mine   
Ar ame nar! Ar ame nar! - I am yours! I am yours!  
Ar lath ma, ma’asha. - I love you, my woman.   
On era’vun Grace. - good night, Grace.  
Era’atisha Solas. - sleep peacefully, Solas.


End file.
